Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby ReptilianKittenEater » Thu May 22, 2014 11:43 pm

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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby marie-angelique » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:10 pm

"Give me control of your TV and I could have you sticking bullets in the backs of peoples heads within a month." nowonmai

"anything you say sounds dirty to me."
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby gnaruki » Wed Jun 04, 2014 5:43 pm

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/06/03/gluten-found-in-portlands-water-supply/

Gluten Found in Portland’s Water Supply
Jun 03, 2014


Authorities in Portland, Ore. have discovered detectable levels of gluten in the city’s water supply, causing a citywide panic.

The city’s water bureau discovered the contamination yesterday and is desperately trying to find out how gluten got into the water. A preliminary report found that the contamination may have occurred “at least eight or nine months ago” when a child dropped a loaf of bread into a local river.

Officials have declared a state of emergency and plan to drain all of the city’s reservoirs. The mayor has also deployed city’s spiritual and wellness counselors to provide relief to beleaguered residents who drank the gluten-contaminated water.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since the Tofu Crisis of ‘08, when we discovered that the Pacific Northwest’s entire supply of tofu had been prepared alongside bacon,” said city engineer Bryce Shivers. “I imagine we’re going to be seeing the disastrous effects of this on the city for decades, like higher rates of obesity, cancer, brain damage and illiteracy.

“Or whatever it is that gluten does. Frankly, I have no idea. My Hot Yoga guru just gave me a brochure.”

Make it grain (free)

Gluten, a type of protein in wheats and certain grains, is found in numerous products including flour, pasta, pastries, beer, cereal, salad dressings and lip balm.


Although gluten-free food is recommended for people with celiac disease, it has become a fad diet for many, including millions in trendier-than-thou Portland. Gluten-free foods are becoming mainstream throughout the U.S. — even though very few consumers can explain what gluten is or why they think it’s bad.

“This is the worst news I’ve ever heard,” Portland resident Steve Arlo said as he sat drinking a microbrew made with barley and rye. “It’s like being told they dumped fluoride into the water supply. Wait! Have they dumped fluoride into the water supply?”

Dex Parios said she started her gluten-free diet “before anyone ever heard of it.” Now depressed by the news about the gluten, she is concerned that Portland is losing its reputation for livability and alternative lifestyles.

“When I moved here after getting my master’s degree in order to work part time at a record store, I thought Portland was a haven for intelligent, well-educated and cultured people,” she said. “But it’s so dangerous. Our leaders can’t even protect us from chemtrails, cell phone towers, bark dust fires, Republicans, people trying to talk to you, and now gluten outbreaks. It’s becoming like Baghdad or Afghanistan day by day.

“If I want to live in a city filled with provincial, arrogant, short-sighted morons, I’ll move to Gresham.”

Despite the paranoia gripping Portland’s streets, not all scientists are convinced by the city’s analysis and believe the water bureau has made a grave error.

“Gluten is not soluble in water, so it’s extremely unlikely to be found in tap water,” says Dr. Chaz Friday of Portland State University. “Nevertheless, just to be on the safe side perhaps hipsters with gluten-sensitivity should move to Seattle instead."
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby gnaruki » Fri Jun 06, 2014 8:37 pm

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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby friendlyskies » Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:28 pm

There's one Twitter account you don't want following you.
"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby ktrout » Mon Jun 16, 2014 7:32 am

friendlyskies wrote:There's one Twitter account you don't want following you.

Must ... resist ... making ... Yakov Smirnoff joke.
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby ktrout » Mon Jun 16, 2014 7:37 am

LOL, finally got to listen to an untampered version of this song.
"You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!"
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqk6-N8bMjo[/youtube]
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby svizzerams » Fri Jun 20, 2014 12:01 am

Which World Cup team should you root for?

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Joan of Arc went to battle with nothing
but the voices in her head
and a well-sharpened sword ~ Charlotte

...those without swords can still die upon them...

Illegitami non carborundum est
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby grawp » Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:48 pm

Svizz,

Thanks for the informative (well, HALF-informative) World Cup flow chart and the NYC watering holes/restaurants you where can cheer your team without getting pickaxed on the sidewalk out front.
Any chance you can provide a url link to the complete flow chart, please?
The world will never love us. They respect us - they might even grow to fear us.
But they will never love us, for we have too much audacity!

- Theodore Roosevelt – “The Wind & the Lion” (1975)
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby svizzerams » Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:25 pm

grawp wrote:Svizz,

Thanks for the informative (well, HALF-informative) World Cup flow chart and the NYC watering holes/restaurants you where can cheer your team without getting pickaxed on the sidewalk out front.
Any chance you can provide a url link to the complete flow chart, please?


Here ya go :-) : http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014 ... .html?_r=0

Here's another one that is also clever: http://globalflare.com/which-team-shoul ... world-cup/
Joan of Arc went to battle with nothing
but the voices in her head
and a well-sharpened sword ~ Charlotte

...those without swords can still die upon them...

Illegitami non carborundum est
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby grawp » Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:27 am

Gracias para todos, darlin'

Viva Espag...whoops!
Viva Mexico!
The world will never love us. They respect us - they might even grow to fear us.
But they will never love us, for we have too much audacity!

- Theodore Roosevelt – “The Wind & the Lion” (1975)
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby rickshaw92 » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:08 pm

Im reallly fuclimg pissed but fespite that I can still hit a tarfet at 1000m plus. mayVRVe bnot tonight but it qint beyond the wit if man. Nowhammy.
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby gnaruki » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:32 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDHqfhyCbbM[/youtube]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/danm3/35-horror-stories-that-prove-action-park-was-the-6wr
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby gnaruki » Thu Jul 10, 2014 5:37 pm

rickshaw92 wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTpCUAK4ypA



Bill Maher still has his moments.

RE: Mr. Shaw

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTpCUAK4ypA[/youtube]
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Re: Post some shit and enter fuckin tain me!

Postby friendlyskies » Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:47 pm

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"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

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