Well, I got a part-time job

The Black Flag Cafe is the place travelers come to share stories and advice. Moderated by Robert Young Pelton the author of The World's Most Dangerous Places.

Moderator: coldharvest

Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Kurt » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:53 pm

and I put it in Rants, Opinions and Humor because of what it is.

Male Model.

I cannot stop laughing.

Apparently I am going to be one of those middle aged white guys in expensive clothes pointing out interesting things to other middle age white guys and likely one light skinned black man.

Look...Its a Triumph TR3 and its hood is open.

Look at this Pie Graph..it says important things that make us all happy.

Look! Viagra. Viagra on a 750 Norton!

I am putting in cufflinks as my wife smiles in the background. We are going to the Opera.

So I think I am prepared.
User avatar
Kurt
In Manus Manus
 
Posts: 19792
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:29 am
Location: New York City

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby coldharvest » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:58 pm

Fucking superb.
I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
User avatar
coldharvest
Abdul Rahman
 
Posts: 25677
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 2:36 am
Location: Island of Misfit Toys

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Kurt » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:11 pm

coldharvest wrote:Fucking superb.


The trick for me will be not to get fired for laughing at every situation I am put in. But, that would be worth it too.
User avatar
Kurt
In Manus Manus
 
Posts: 19792
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:29 am
Location: New York City

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Sri Lanky » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:22 pm

Sounds like you found a well-paid hobby and because it's not your bread and butter you can be a little risque about it.
Sri Lanky
 

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Kurt » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:32 pm

Sri Lanky wrote:Sounds like you found a well-paid hobby and because it's not your bread and butter you can be a little risque about it.


I was thinking the same thing too.

Porn.

But it would be middle aged male model porn:

Honey, I just went to the doctor and the bad news is I have Erectile Dysfunction. The good news is he gave me a prescription for Viagra

(attractive woman with barely noticeable crows feet around her eyes smiles)

Sooooooo...

*tastefully done rocking blues ala Stevie Ray Vaughn plays during graphic, yet tasteful intercourse*

Well....Lets cuddle for a while and laugh at events in our shared history and then I will go in the garage and get to work restoring my vintage motorcycle.
User avatar
Kurt
In Manus Manus
 
Posts: 19792
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:29 am
Location: New York City

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Woodsman » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:58 pm

Great money, great hours. If you have no qualms about the products you are pimping and are not known as the "herpes guy" on the national run herpes pharmaceutical ad, well then that is not a good, but rather a GREAT gig!
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7427
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Kurt » Sat Nov 12, 2011 10:09 pm

Woodsman wrote:Great money, great hours. If you have no qualms about the products you are pimping and are not known as the "herpes guy" on the national run herpes pharmaceutical ad, well then that is not a good, but rather a GREAT gig!


I would totally be "The Herpes Guy"

Why? Because I would gladly want to filter out anyone who confuses an adverstisement from real life from my life and being a "Herpes Guy" or "AIDS guy" or "Loose Bowels Guy" would act as that filter.

But I do not have defined muscles enough to play someone with an illness. You ever notice the "sick and then treated with..." models are always a bit ripped, unless it is diabetes and then they are believably pudgy but not so fat that they have problems wiping themselves.

So I could never be "Diabetes Guy" or "Herpes Guy", though I would want to be "Herpes Guy" for the above reason.
User avatar
Kurt
In Manus Manus
 
Posts: 19792
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:29 am
Location: New York City

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby friendlyskies » Tue Nov 15, 2011 2:17 pm

Oh, I know, those herpes commercials - where everyone is amazingly attractive, and having incredible, kinky, athletic sex with everyone else who has herpes and is therefore also incredibly attractive - made me want to get out there and fuck sleazy 1970s-era junkies with gross dyed hair and residual polyester blends just so I could get herpes too. Nothing could possibly be better than herpes, right? Thanks to Herp-X, brought to you by the makers of the Viagra and Spanish Fly that led to you getting the herp in the first place."

Anyway, congrats on living the dream. "Kurt, male model. Have Viagra, will travel."

Image
"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq
User avatar
friendlyskies
Vata Loca
 
Posts: 7458
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2006 5:36 pm
Location: Atlantis

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Sri Lanky » Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:13 pm

"Have Viagra,will travel"

Viagra is always good for getting that extra mileage.
Sri Lanky
 

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Woodsman » Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:21 pm

Kurt wrote:I would totally be "The Herpes Guy"

Why? Because I would gladly want to filter out anyone who confuses an adverstisement from real life from my life and being a "Herpes Guy" or "AIDS guy" or "Loose Bowels Guy" would act as that filter.


Very good point indeed!
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7427
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby michelle in alaska » Wed Nov 16, 2011 10:20 am

if you ever need a second day job: posing nude for art classes at universities and colleges. it pays very well.
so there i was: in the second year of my self-declared major of art. a life drawing class. the nice older student, a teacher's assistant, had scheduled a model for life drawing that hadn't shown up. the very tiny but adamant chinese nun, our prof, insisted he take her/his place.
this poor guy posed nude. for an hour. in front of approx. 15 tittering 19 yos.
and you know we were critiquing.
bravest man i ever met.
cheers! :))
No Apologies.
michelle in alaska
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 2531
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:45 am

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby kilroy » Wed Nov 16, 2011 2:14 pm

if bravery is stripping down for tittering 19 year old coeds, call me audie murphy.
when they ask how you feeling
you tell em you feeling like something important died screaming
you tell em you feeling like something even more important arrived breathing
something you should probably try feeding
User avatar
kilroy
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 5691
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:34 am
Location: Alabambam

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby ktrout » Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:17 am

Be nice to me. I'm a rug muncher.
User avatar
ktrout
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:12 am
Location: USDA Climate zone 9b

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby Kurt » Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:39 pm

kilroy wrote:if bravery is stripping down for tittering 19 year old coeds, call me audie murphy.


I almost did that once.

In college I was dating an art major and she liked to sketch me in charcoal. She kept on trying to get me to pose nude for her art major group and I am a guy who rarely will wear shorts in public so I kept on resisting.

But she had ways of convincing me that I will not go into here..so I agreed.

First session:

A friend of mine whom I had never seen naked before...so I began to think about car engines and their displacement because I was 20 years old and no further explanation is needed. (I was wearing an ill fitting robe)

I began to get bored with seeing her naked and I realized she had a third nipple on her back, so I began to think of other things. Those other things were interupted by this putrid smell. sweat, man sweat, dirty hair, topped off by patchouli and what can be most politely described as "feminine odor" ...It was the local hippie couple who were so alternative that they believed that soap and water was bad for you, but sitting naked in an incense filled room made up for bathing because of something they read once before.

So the smelly naked people sat intertwined and occasionally they broke their own boredom by fondling each others genitals in front of all of us. The artists did not flinch. They did not gag, they did not do anything but draw and shade. I was now thinking of car engine displacement in order to not vomit.

The hippies time was up, they left to the toilet (first stop after posing) together and immediately began to loudly fuck. Their non-fucking smell was still lingering, the artists began to lose their courage and they all agreed to dismiss me and leave and leave the remainder of the room to the hippies and their stink.

I was spared. I had agreed to pose nude but thanks to gross people, I did not have to. When she brought it up again I said "I almost threw up last time." She admited she had almost thrown up also and never asked me to do that again.
User avatar
Kurt
In Manus Manus
 
Posts: 19792
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 6:29 am
Location: New York City

Re: Well, I got a part-time job

Postby coldharvest » Thu Nov 17, 2011 4:42 pm

wow, so Hippies are good for something
I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
User avatar
coldharvest
Abdul Rahman
 
Posts: 25677
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 2:36 am
Location: Island of Misfit Toys

Next

Return to Black Flag Cafe

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests

cron