Update from Ultra Swain

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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby nowonmai » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:27 am

Ultra Swain wrote:Moved back up to Washington state this summer. Been back from Burma 2 years and still trying to figure out what I am gonna do when I grow up.


Moderator of Tin-Foil Hat Cafe? It's a step up from Testing and Log-in Problems and we all know there's no point having a Travel section. I'll put in a good word for you but you got to put in the time and frankly, Bueller, your attendance this semester has been appalling.
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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby Ultra Swain » Wed Dec 07, 2016 4:35 am

nowonmai wrote:
Ultra Swain wrote:Moved back up to Washington state this summer. Been back from Burma 2 years and still trying to figure out what I am gonna do when I grow up.


Moderator of Tin-Foil Hat Cafe? It's a step up from Testing and Log-in Problems and we all know there's no point having a Travel section. I'll put in a good word for you but you got to put in the time and frankly, Bueller, your attendance this semester has been appalling.


I lost the fire damnit! The only inspiring moment today was the see that Mach is allowed to post in the TFHC and is still doing so.
Geez,am I NOT ALLOWED TO BE INTENSE FOR JUST 10 FUCKING SECONDS??!!!!!!!
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Ultra Swine!

Postby Jefe » Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:39 pm

Got to say that just in time for Christmas.

So you really did Minedance Myannmar did you? I can see COL KKW beaming you into the Mother Ship and taking you to the Golden Land to serve penance in an axehandle re-education camp.

But, good on you for doing that.

Now, do something really worthwhile and move some into the Left Coast. Cluster them around Starbucks and the like and get some YouTube videos for us please.
"Those who beat their swords into plowshares, inevitably wind up plowing for people with swords".

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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby goat balls » Mon Dec 12, 2016 9:14 pm

I'll bet you breakfast that swain was there to smoke dope, drink beer and hit on the women. Nothing else. And I admire that. I wonder if they have any golf courses there.
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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby nowonmai » Mon Dec 12, 2016 10:00 pm

goat balls wrote:I'll bet you breakfast that swain was there to smoke dope, drink beer and hit on the women. Nothing else. And I admire that. I wonder if they have any golf courses there.


He was trying to be a hippy but the pic below shows what happened when Swain got short changed at the Pink Moon Bar when he ordered two Martinis, a Bloody Mary and a Sangria (and two packets of cheese and onion crisps). After that he went into hiding and led a spec ops unit whose job it was to steal panties off the washing line of wives of regime leaders to lower morale and spread mistrust among regime figures. They were known as the Myanmar Operational kNicker Grabbers (MONGs) and it is a well known fact that their panty thieving was the direct cause of Aung Sang Su Panty Thief getting into office, so that she could go on to ignore the ethnic cleansing of muslims in Burma/Myanmar/Whatever the fuck that place that became irrelevant once Slim left it is called these days. Truly a glorious victory.

Anyway, I give you Swain on one of his calmer days...

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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby goat balls » Tue Dec 13, 2016 12:18 am

I don't know the facts man. Stealing the frilly things from the juntas chicks seems much more risky than the previous allegations of gobbling goobers. And secret goober gobbling at that. That's just wrong.

He might be stalking Yoko Ono on karaoke nights with Coldharvest. You think you know somebody and then all this shit rears its ugly head. I'd rather fly dawn patrol every day for the rest of my life than hear Yoko Ono sing anything.
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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby Jefe » Thu Dec 15, 2016 5:30 pm

The quote about Dawn Patrol and Yoko Ono should be in Reader's Digest's "Quotable Quote"

Or at least on Celebrity Jeopardy. Now that's an idea, Kurt can be Alex Trebueq and we have guest appearances. Except for Penta who will steal glimpses from the padded room window off the TV the night staff nurses/orderlies watch. Straining in the straightjacket (her autobiography title) with a facemask like Hannibal Lector and each finger individually restrained and out of keyboard reach. I can see the inkblot test for her now: "What do you see?" QWERTY...GUARDIAN...HAMMER/SYCKLE

None of this has ever been fair to Kurt, lol. I think he might actually be COL KKW too which is only a further token of respect.
"Those who beat their swords into plowshares, inevitably wind up plowing for people with swords".

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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby goat balls » Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:58 pm

Kurt is without a doubt always been one of the few really good things about the BFC. Coldharvest was too until he lost his mind and became a fanatical Yoko Ono fan.

And yeah the dawn patrol thing is all to real. I always wrote the flight schedule. I was the only guy that you genuinely didn't want to piss off. And they bitched and moaned about dawn patrol so much that I just did it myself. That way I didn't have to listen to it. Launch at 0300-0400 fly in the pitch black for an hour or two, recover 0500-0630 after an hour or two of daylight. Go eat breakfast. Get back to work.

The dawn patrol for lifetime threat was so real that I never had to take a piss test. Not ever. I could've been a junkie and they'd have never known it. My roommate was in charge of the piss test for the squadron. We called him the grinch. And I always told him that if my number ever came up for the piss test, he'd be dawn patrolling for life. You wouldn't believe the shit I accomplished with that threat.
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Re: Update from Ultra Swain

Postby Jefe » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:31 pm

LOL! Hell, I saw helo landings on ships that looked hairy. I can only imagine a carrier landing. At night time, well fuck me you are a smart guy than I am!

I crash flight simulators all the time and couldn't even get off the fucking ground with MircroSofts game.

Cool thing though: Google Earth now has a Flight Simulator. I fly it over cities I am going to and familiarize myself with landmarks. It makes it more entertaining and workable (as you get lost) than a map study.

I am wondering if you ever knew my Uncle. I will PM you his name sometime. He got the DFC in Vietnam and retired after 20 and a broken back. He stayed in the game with missile testing on the LEFT COAST (TM) for another 20.
"Those who beat their swords into plowshares, inevitably wind up plowing for people with swords".

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Postby el3so » Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:33 am

goat balls wrote:Coldharvest
Was it the lack of clownshoes on this here webboard or what happened?
Endut! Hoch hech!
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