Your predictions for 2019...

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Your predictions for 2019...

Postby dogtanian » Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:05 am

I’m sure we used to have these threads each year, a decade or so ago. Thought I might as well squeeze it in while it’s still January. Here are mine in no particular order:

- Nicholas Maduro does a Gaddafi by going to ground, before eventually being pulled out of a hole by Colombian troops and offered amnesty in Sweden, where he’ll spend his last years driving a bus loads of unemployed Somalis around Malmo. On his last day before his retirement he’ll be stabbed with a zombie knife after an argument about chewing Khat and feet on the seat upholstery.

- The UK will leave the EU with No Deal in May or June after a short delay to pass necessary legislation. The EU will try to precipitate a Max. Schadenfreude Brexit, however the enduring fortitude and talent of the British will ensure a brighter than bright future, due to god’s own decree that the sun never sets on the British Empire.

- South Africa will continue to go all Zimbabwe as white farmers (who are the last people standing in the way of a food security crisis) continue to be raped and murdered. The mainstream media - led by CNN and the BBC - will continue to deliberately ignore these events, because all white people obviously deserve as much rape and slaughter as possible because it’s totally fair payback for their ancestors instigating Apartheid... even though it was only the Dutch ones... but nuances don’t matter because all BBC reportage is now limited to 280 characters... and besides the grinning white catholic school kid is still alive which means that priority will be given to headlines that disclose his location / employer / new girlfriend etc.

- Dr Jordan Peterson will become Prime Minister of Canada. Transsexuals will protest across Canada, but these will be thwarted when Dr Peterson orders Health Canada to secure & withold all supplies of synthetic testosterone. After the protestors express how oppressed they feel, they will all go home and watch Amazon Prime.

- Bannon and Trump will continue to make progress with their presidency objectives, by moving closer to war with China, funding for a border wall, and the total eradication of Islam. The US and Canada will become best buddies and Peterson’s new crowdfunding platform will be used to raise funds for the three aforementioned policy objectives.

- There will be a major terrorist incident orchestrated and activated by George Soros, as a final act of revenge upon the world for things (like Brexit and Islamisation of the west) not going the way he had planned. But his plot will be foiled by Viktor Orban, who will then be installed as life president of the European Council, on a tide of support by Italy, Austria, Denmark, Poland, and the Swedish Government In Exile (now based in an igloo in Nuuk).

There ya go.

Cheers,
"Truth is cool; but unattainable..."
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby dogtanian » Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:06 am

In case you’ve forgotten, the idea of this thread is that everybody’s supposed to reply with their own predictions.

Come on chaps... it wasn’t THAT long ago...
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby ROB » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:37 am

You'll remain a cunt.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby nowonmai » Sun Feb 03, 2019 6:49 am

Flipflop will come back. So will Coldharvest. Even Swain will post the odd picture of a rainbow unicorn from time to time.

Johnnyfishfinger will not as by now he is probably a plutocratic financial hotshot and doesn’t give a shit about anybody, good lad.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby snaark » Sun Feb 03, 2019 8:50 pm

It's hard to predict, especially about the future.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby Kurt » Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:56 am

Dr. Jordan Peterson will continue to rake in $$$$ and Neo Nazis will continue to post a link to his YouTube lecture on topics like "Fast Rules For a Happy Life" and title it as "Jordan Peterson taunts beta Males and cucks and show that mens rulz !!!" (listened to his lectures, not sure what the big deal about him is. Don't think he is a Nazi like Nazis and the far left do, but not going to give him my money either)

A QAnon member is going to either kill far right people who dismiss them or office workers at a Neo-Liberal NGO or a local Democratic campaign.

The "We cannot afford Medicare for all" will eventually run into the "look how much money we spent bailing out banks in 2008 and we can eliminate a few carrier groups and pay for it" in the US (the rest of the world seems to have figured this out)

Trump will not lose this election , because that is not until next year.

Is the UK conspiracy to stay in the EU in spite of the vote to leave or is the conspiracy a right wing cabal of Russians and billionairs "causing" a Brexit vote? Who cares because Doctor Who is a woman now and that threatens me.

No one significant will be jailed in spite of the fact that people in the NHS prescribed Diamorphine and applied it with faulty syringes that administered too much. Old people who died long ago at the hands of a revered institution are expendable it seems (dont you wish you Brits had the USA miraculous Tort laws that were based on your Blackstone's writings?)

More stuff will break, infrastructure will get built slower and be less reliable as people slowly start to realize that the people who built shit have died and they laid everyone off with experience for newbies with the same degree. Once Silicon Valley gets into 911 calls and water treatment it will be time to start crapping in a box again and seek out the midwife to apply poultices and charms.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby cowboycraig » Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:39 am

A sexy blond French lady will get sucker punched by a Somalian immigrant. A few of his tribe jump her, with minds on rape. She picks up a pipe and beats the fuck out of all of them. There is a huge court case that gets international attention. This starts an outright civil war between yellow vests and the french government.

She ends up the next Joan of Arch - and France becomes a badass place tourists go again.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby cowboycraig » Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:41 am

nowonmai wrote:Flipflop will come back. So will Coldharvest. Even Swain will post the odd picture of a rainbow unicorn from time to time.

Johnnyfishfinger will not as by now he is probably a plutocratic financial hotshot and doesn’t give a shit about anybody, good lad.


so will that guy called Jumper or something... I miss him. Also that guy who always called everyone a fag.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby cowboycraig » Tue Feb 05, 2019 4:44 am

dogtanian wrote:
- Dr Jordan Peterson will become Prime Minister of Canada. Transsexuals will protest across Canada, but these will be thwarted when Dr Peterson orders Health Canada to secure & withold all supplies of synthetic testosterone. After the protestors express how oppressed they feel, they will all go home and watch Amazon Prime.



I would so totally fook'in love that. I know he gets a lot of shit, but I like the guy.
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Postby el3so » Tue Feb 05, 2019 11:12 pm

Alien invasion, the saucer kind.
Mankind rips them several new assholes and uses captured spacecraft to genocide the fück out of xenomorph home planet. Everyone celebrates!
This town's leadership doesn't understand that we can compromise with these savage, merciless bisexual rapist-killers.
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Re: Your predictions for 2019...

Postby ReptilianKittenEater » Wed Feb 06, 2019 4:29 am

Easy ones.

Maduro will be gone.

Brexit will happen.

People will still bitch.
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