A Year in Taian, China

[ktrout]

I don't know I've seen some pretty hot chicks in the People's Army. I can't believe that they would watch that close that they would catch you doing that, though.
The first time I went there I spent almost a month living with my in laws. I can't imagine going there cold. The second time I got from BeiJing to PingYao (highly recommended) by bicycle. Ended up staying in a hostel there and almost went native. A couple of the women wanted to marry me and I started becoming their bouncer. When a Chinese woman calls you 夫妻 (husband and wife) you're in trouble. Especially since I was still married then and the other men didn't like me. I ended up getting almost too sick to stand up and had to make a break for the nearest international airport (TaiYuan).
The third time I spent a month by bicycle getting from Beijing to ManZhouLi. It took an extra week because the wind was almost blowing me backwards and I was kind of starving to death. Believe it or not, I was thrilled to get into Russia.
A bunch of my neighbors here used to think I'm Chinese because all they'd hear was me swearing from over the fence.

[Fansy]

how come no one made a racist kfc/fried chicken joke + osiris. you guys fucking disappoint.

[Osiris]

I've gotten plenty from the other foreigners I've met so far.

Lots of chicken and watermelon jokes.

[ktrout]

The Chinese love KFC (鸡）and watermelon (西瓜). So do I. One of the somewhat rare bits of culinary common ground I have with them. Try Lychee. They're delicious. Funny, my neighbors have a kumquat tree and I only knew the Chinese name for it for a long time because I hadn't ever eaten them here.
If it sounds like they're calling you the "N word" they're probably actually saying 那个 (that one).

[Osiris]

If it sounds like they're calling you the "N word" they're probably actually saying 那个 (that one).

Lesson already learned on that one. That was an awkward moment. "What the fuck did this 10 year old just call me? Oh I'm ready to beat his ass..."

[Osiris]

Today I had an eleven year old who can't properly pronounce "breakfast" stand up in the middle of class and bitch slap the kid behind him while screaming, "FUCK YOUR MOTHER!" Kid said it perfectly, too.

I don't know where he learned that, but I find it to be hilarious.

I have been laughing ever since.

[ReptilianKittenEater]

Today I had an eleven year old who can't properly pronounce "breakfast" stand up in the middle of class and bitch slap the kid behind him while screaming, "FUCK YOUR MOTHER!" Kid said it perfectly, too.

I don't know where he learned that, but I find it to be hilarious.

I have been laughing ever since.

Borat perhaps?

[ktrout]

I gotta get back to work on my book Fear and Loathing in the Middle Kingdom.

[rickshaw92]

Lots of chicken and watermelon jokes.

I would love some chicken and watermelon right about now.

[ktrout]

Lots of chicken and watermelon jokes.

I would love some chicken and watermelon right about now.

Be careful about buying watermelon or any other food on the street. You could end up with a bad case of Chairman Mao's Revenge.

[Kurt]

I've gotten plenty from the other foreigners I've met so far.

Lots of chicken and watermelon jokes.

What baffles me is why anyone would be made fun of for liking chicken and watermelon. They are delicious and even go better together. Its like being made fun of for liking cookies and milk or salty fries and a chocolate shake.

I can think of other foods much more worthy of ethnic ridicule and I am sure the Chinese provide much fodder for that.

[ktrout]

I can think of other foods much more worthy of ethnic ridicule and I am sure the Chinese provide much fodder for that.

Such as Chicken feet. Ewww...

[Osiris]

I can think of other foods much more worthy of ethnic ridicule and I am sure the Chinese provide much fodder for that.

Such as Chicken feet. Ewww...

Or cicadas, bits of squid and crabs on a stick?

[rickshaw92]

That looks good.

[ktrout]

Or cicadas,

I've actually done a bit of that. I'm actually okay with eating most invertebrates. Except I don't really go for Sea Cucumber. The silkworm cocoons aren't bad. Or Scorpion. I don't like tripe either.