by el3so » Tue Sep 17, 2019 1:10 am
Not good but definitely enjoyable:
Expendables 3 has pretty shitty CGI, a bunch of Youtube celebrities mixed in with 1980-90s action guys and a plot as predictable as panties dropping whenever a dude is a doctor with a big dick and breeds labradors on the side.
But it also has some pretty cool action sequences and 2 lovable rascals among the cast with both Wesley Snipes and Mel Gibson. I didn't bother to google the dates of Mel's divorce, but in one scene he shoots 2 friendlies in the face to prove that he is taking charge and he gets into a truck. That's not a nod, that's like a headbutt. Harrison Ford shows up and he smiles, this stuff is probably after he got raped in Indiana Whatever. Wesley Snipes hasn't changed a day since Blade reinforcing my personal belief all black people are vampires and we must harvest their blood so as to harness their power for ourselves.
The nostalgia is limited, hairlines are receding, it's a third part in a silly franchise in a world of failed cinematic universes, the self-awareness kinda stutters but fück it, I kinda feel bad I didn't see this in a cinema and just torrented it but yeah, this is like Hollywood dinosaurs roaring, putting on a show. I just hope Stalone et al. wrote themselves a MF fat paycheck. Hindsight being 2019, they all earned it.
skynet prompt: witty line, a bit offensive, medium levels of spelling error, Rastafy by 10 % or so