Not Happy Bush won? Just ask Moby what to do...

[CdnSkyDiva]

http://www.moby.com/cms/viewalldiary.asp

Dear Canada
11/4/2004 - New York City

'dear canada,
now, more than ever, your neighbor to the south(aka-the blue states)needs you. most of us living in the northern and western parts of the united states don't feel very connected to the rest of the u.s, so can we bring our states and become part of canada?
we have a lot of money and some interesting cities and we promise not to be too much trouble.

the benefits to you:
a-in one fell swoop you can have southern california and new york city! surfing in canada! suddenly the u.n is on canadian soil! broadway is suddenly in canada! you could then say that canada is the birthplace of jazz and hip-hop!

b-money. cold hard cash. the red states in the u.s might have the voting power, but guess who has the money? yup, your friendly neighborhood blue states.
so when/if you accept our offer you will instantly become the richest country in the world! that sounds pretty good, right?

c-karma. accepting this offer will give you more good karma than you'd know what to do with(because you would instantly make 120 million people VERY happy).
so you get warm beaches, tons of cash, and good karma. who can say no to that?

please let us know if you accept the offer. given our enthusiasm to join canada it's safe to say that the details of the offer could probably be worked out in an afternoon.

thank you very much,
moby

p.s-just to put your minds at ease, we do know that we can't bring our assault weapons with us

[Texas Carnie Roadshow]

You think Canada's gonna want the crime rates that go with those blue cities?

[CdnSkyDiva]

You think Canada's gonna want the crime rates that go with those blue cities?

Well this letter is written by a Vegan, tree hugging, metrosexual musician - not exactly your typical american - but it is the stereotype for 1 in 5 Canadian men (especially in BC)

[Texas Carnie Roadshow]

Yeah but New York and SoCal?
Canada can have the UN, but would it really want to suddenly annex cities with some of the highest murder rates in the US?
Chicago (another blue city) took that title again last year. It all just seems like another famous person sticking there nose where it doesn't belong, much like a commecial's celebrity endorsement.

And I still choose to define 'metrosexual' differently from other people.
Metrosexual - they screw whole cities.

[SRR]

Those crazy blue states are between Bush and a hard place - too left wing for the rest of the US, too right wing for the rest of Canada. I sure as hell don't even want Seattle in the Federation of Soviet Canuckistan let alone Chicago or LA, dammit.

And how will this affect our plan to annex Cuba once Castro dies? That's on the table you know.

The only state we really wanted in the first place was Alaska.... but alas, they voted for Bush.

[DawnC71]

TCR wrote:

Metrosexual - they screw whole cities.

LMAO...that is toooo funny TCR...
As for me I dont trust any man who thinks it is "nasty" or otherwise unclean to grow facial hair...some of those dudes even shave their LEGS...how weird is that????
Moby can go to Canada if he wants to.....but he cannot take the all the other reasonsable blue state voters with him....I refuse to allow it, simple as that.
Cheers,
Dawn

[Texas Carnie Roadshow]

It'd be interesting.
Things could start looking like Isreal/Palistine.
Walls go up around the blue zones, to keep the nasty reds out.
Maple leaves flying over the Sears tower.
Militants suicide bombing Union Station.
I've thought about it some now, and someone needs to start looking into this.
If Chicago left Illinois, maybe the rest of the state could get less gun laws, to match most of the other states.

[DawnC71]

And you could come to Hawaii without all the passport issues....we are a Blue State here!

[Buzzsaw]

Maybe they can ask President Bush for permission to secede. All this talk is a load of nonsense. There have been far more divisive elections that this one. What a bunch of crybabies.

[doyle]

Who's Moby? Wasn't he the guy crying about sell outs, just before he became the first artist to commercially license every song on his release? Flash in the pan, 15 minutes are up. Go to Canada, maybe you can split the rent with Alanis Morissette.

[Renard]

I think we could make a fair trade. All the blue states for Alberta. We'd be getting New England, New York City and the entire west coast, you'd be getting oil, gas, beef and Albertans.

Deal?

[kilroy]

you can keep the albertans but throw in the beef and oil, and i'd say it's a go.

[Kurt]

I really wish Moby would shut up.

Moby making sense is like my music being played for an Intel commercial (my "music" is drunken screaming while stumming an untunned Ukele and playing a Kazoo)

I know my place and Moby should know his.

Moby's comments on stuff is everywhere too...I bought some iced tea called Teany the other day because I dislike iced tea with sugar. In place of the sugar is a "story" written about how Moby's wife came to make the tea (I think her name is Kelly). Another tea bottle tells a story of a crowded party that Moby had when it was raining really hard outside.

I would prefer that iced tea just listed the ingrediants and maybe included a "Where's Moby" type game (lesseee...look for the sickly bald hipster.....fuck! its the Lower East side, everyone is a sickly , bald hipster!).

The tea is pretty good though.

[rickshaw92]

Get rid of Alberta? No way. Could we get rid of T.O.? Damn do I ever hate that place.

[CdnSkyDiva]

I think we could make a fair trade. All the blue states for Alberta. We'd be getting New England, New York City and the entire west coast, you'd be getting oil, gas, beef and Albertans.

Deal?

I think it's a brilliant Idea!

I think Alberta and Utah alone are a match made in heaven! Albertans can finally enjoy assault weapons, and Utah can enjoy the Inbreeding capital of Canada!

I say its a deal