Noting with great concern the issue at hand to be awash in acrimony, complicated by subtle contexts and multiple communicative episodes of unclear modes and authenticity, and yet unresolved as regards the closure sought by audience as well as by one or more participants, to wit, Jäeger of the BFC and Penta of the BFC,
Recognizing the issue at hand, through readily available means, unlikely to receive a fair and impartial investigation based on a thorough and informed collection of empirical data,
Underlining the need, in investigation of the issue at hand, for technological proficiency, intellectual merit and honesty, philosophical breadth, familiarity with and preference for rational discourse and logic, appreciation for pragmatic contexts and their attendant social norms (i.e. netiquette), ample idle time, a sacred reverence for rigor, and consistent pedantry,
Emphasizing that a transparent and resolutive review of the issue at hand to be in the interests of participants and audience alike;
Fansy, the ARPI, hereby,
1. Offers his services as:
- (a) investigator, to pursue the collection of all available and relevant facts;
(b) analyst, to establish the critical history and evidenced progression of the issue at hand, to supply and evaluate inferences from empirical data, to weigh the credibility of competing claims;
(c) mediator, to resolve inter-participant disputes regarding the validity of evidence, contexts, and miscommunications;
(d) and presenter, to compile and report the findings of the independent investigation to both participants and audience,
3. Takes note that rules, agreements, and restrictions concerning the investigation and presentation among the ARPI and participants can be made subsequent to the acceptance of services offered, but such codifications will be transparent to both participants as well as audience,
4. Provides goodwill reassurance to participants in the form of his name, personal email address, and permanent phone number following acceptance from both participants,
5. Calls upon the participants, Jäeger of the BFC and Penta of the BFC, to respond via public reply or PM with questions or notification of acceptance/refusal,
6. Encourages the participants to consider this offer seriously and to be forthcoming during the investigation, for their own sakes as well as for those of fellow denizens at the BFC.
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