How fuckin' high are Mormons?

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How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby coldharvest » Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:17 am

I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby Caliban » Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:45 am

Ergot poisoning induced hallucination. And thats how rye wiskey was invented.
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Postby el3so » Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:42 pm

I think they only indulge in chocolate. Got my personal copy from a couple of very polite American kids on a bus annos ago. Easy to laugh at them but...

"Maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up. But I have a great life and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don’t care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the Church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that’s stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
skynet prompt: witty line, a bit offensive, medium levels of spelling error, Rastafy by 10 % or so
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby coldharvest » Wed Sep 22, 2010 5:32 pm

because what the Church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people.

No church invented those three things yet they always take the credit.

As for Mormons teaching love, being nice, etc, etc,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danite
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby marie-angelique » Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:58 pm

"Give me control of your TV and I could have you sticking bullets in the backs of peoples heads within a month." nowonmai

"anything you say sounds dirty to me."
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby ktrout » Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:15 am

According to my GPS, they're all at least a mile high. There were a few times when I was bicycling across the state when I stopped to take a rest and some guys in Suburbans with shirts and ties would stop to chat me up. This with me being 50 miles from anything.
I think the "Oh, shit, not you guys" look on my face ended the conversations pretty promptly.
EDIT: So, there are very few feelings better than to be stopped dozens of miles off in the desert fixing a flat. Then have somebody drive up asking if I need help and say "No, thanks, I'm good."
Be nice to me. I'm a rug muncher.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby Michael » Tue Oct 05, 2010 5:57 am

Living among them for the past twenty-plus years and getting along just fine....
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby coldharvest » Tue Oct 05, 2010 6:13 am

Michael wrote:Living among them for the past twenty-plus years and getting along just fine....

I'm sure they're nice because they dress nice.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby Kurt » Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:24 pm

Actually South Park covered it pretty well. Yep, they are a weird religion. Don't forget the special underwear and the sacred right of getting your blood spilled for salvation and being able to spill someone's blood to help them (why do you think Mormon states still have the firing squad for executions)

But no religion has a monopoly on weird and the Mormons are nice folks. The only thing I did not like about them was how some of them forced smiles on their faces when they talked to me even though I could tell they really did not like me.

(yep, I like Mormons more than they like me)
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby deselby » Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:03 am

Kurt wrote:Actually South Park covered it pretty well. Yep, they are a weird religion. Don't forget the special underwear and the sacred right of getting your blood spilled for salvation and being able to spill someone's blood to help them (why do you think Mormon states still have the firing squad for executions)

But no religion has a monopoly on weird and the Mormons are nice folks. The only thing I did not like about them was how some of them forced smiles on their faces when they talked to me even though I could tell they really did not like me.

(yep, I like Mormons more than they like me)


Yes, I like them, too. I've run into pairs of missionaries in Siracusa, Sicily, Durres, Albania, and St. Vincent. When I met the two of them in Durres I was buzzed with beer and in camouflage uniform, but they were friendly. I got accused of being a missionary in Montego Bay by a Rasta, too.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby michelle in alaska » Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:06 am

uggh. mormons.
i live amongst them. and it would be all fine, and all, if they didn't insist on proselytizing ALL the d*mn time.
i tell them i'm very happy in my dysfuntional catholicism.
i also tell my mormon neighbors: you don't ask about my church's little infiltration of pedophiles and i won't discuss your minor problem with old believer pedophilia.
>:)
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby Fansy » Sat Oct 09, 2010 3:08 pm

i was raised in a mormon family and they are pretty koo peeps.

as for the beliefs i mean shit. whattaya gonna do. at least it made christianity a bit more interesting for a minute. but yeah they believe in some pretty lol stuff tho an when i visit membs of the fam occasionally its always good for a chuckle. would be nice one day they realize itsa not true an grab a beer wit me tho.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby Fansy » Sat Oct 09, 2010 3:26 pm

o an regardin fggts yeah its shitty what morm church they did regardin prop 8, but for exampl boyd k packers comments above, the mormon church has one of the better histories among christian churches of not treating fggts so poorly up until bout 2000-2002. at that point they sorta fell behind an are on the backend of the spectrum now since you got so many fag churchs letting fggts be ministers and lesbians eat muff and still take sacrament or whatever they do. im pretty sure jesus was pretty gay too tho since most semites i kno who look like they draw him r at least bisexual.

o an that reminds me we were in church one time in the boys youth class and the name boyd k packer came up and i blurted yeah more like boyd k fudgepacker and then i realized wait is that like one of our church leaders and everyone in the group is looking at me like dude wtf and the leader told me that was inappropriate and told my dad who talked to me after cuz they were all how did this dud get one of these fukup kids. i didnt have an answer for any of em but i learnd who boyd k cracker was. the end.

but lol get it. Boyd K. FUDGEpacker talking bout gays all in the news haha. man if i could be in church now be droppin jokes left an right.
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby michelle in alaska » Sat Oct 09, 2010 3:42 pm

i was raised in a mormon family and they are pretty koo peeps.

you were? are?
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who knew? :))
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Re: How fuckin' high are Mormons?

Postby coldharvest » Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:01 pm

Fansy wrote:man if i could be in church now be droppin jokes left an right.

go for the lulz and start the revolution while yer at 'er.
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