My disgusting neighbors

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My disgusting neighbors

Postby friendlyskies » Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:33 pm

So I just moved back to the United states, where just about everyone has hot water, access to laundry machines, and gigantic fucking yards where they could raise 30% of the calories their families require annually if our culture didn't value huge swaths of chemically enhanced grass instead. Personal hygiene is just not a challenge here as it is in less developed places, and so standards are high. Some people let their homes and bodies go to shit, sure, but in general people take care of themselves, by using deodorant, dressing in clean clothes and maintaining attractive homes.

So why in the fuck are my neighbors so fucking disgusting in the rudest, most repulsive, most disease ridden way?

Atlanta has a mosquito problem, a very serious one. It is repulsive and itchy at best, and perhaps dangerous at worst - I wonder if it isn't a security issue. This region had dengue, malaria, and yellow fever just a few generations ago, and the conditions still exist for all three to thrive. Couldn't I just pretend to take a "tour group" somewhere where those diseases still exist, infect a handful of volunteer terrorists - you're more likely to survive dengue or malaria than the average suicide bombing - and then drive them around town to feed the mosquitoes? I bet I could put 5% of this city's population in the hospital by the end of the month.

Image
The CDC, not ashamed to be surrounded by buzzing,
nauseating disease vectors.

Now, mosquito control is pretty damned easy. Basically, you clean your yard instead of being a repulsive pig. It's like cockroach control - if you don't leave rotting meat and half-eaten Entenmann's pastries all over your kitchen, it probably won't be taken over by disgusting cockroaches. And by "clean your yard," I don't mean landscaping, or mowing, or planting roses instead of weeds. I could give a shit about your weeds. I mean, "take a few minutes and dump out the stinking pools of brackish water infested with squirming mosquito larva that are puddled up in your flower pots, children's toys, clogged gutters, and other crap around your house"

Image
But friendlyskies, malaria farms really add to the water features in
my yard, how can you say this is disgusting and vile?

Since I've lived for the past several years in places where mosquitos do carry deadly diseases (and the governments have PSAs telling people how to take personal responsibility for controlling them), I'm painfully aware of each brackish cesspool of filth that my pig neighbors allow to accumulate in their yards. Every time I walk by a house, that's what I see first, those dirty plastic containers writhing with with thousands of vile larval vermin. Sure, the house is freshly painted, the garden lovely, and the owner perfectly dressed in stylish clothing and flawless makeup click-click-clicking in designer heels to her shiny clean European sports car. Camouflage, so no one will realize that she's actually lazy, disgusting, and above all, RUDE.

And that's really the crux of the thing. I don't care if this polished piece of filth has cockroaches all over her kitchen and never washes her sheets, if she wants to live like that it's her choice and her right. But doesn't she give one shit about her neighborhood or city? Never mind the risk of spreading disease, does she just not care if area kids can't play outside without getting covered with bites? Does she think everyone should use DEET and other chemical repellants that cause cancer, kill fireflies and other awesome bugs, and build up dangerously in the environment? What lack of self awareness could make these people refuse to just take five minutes and mosquito-proof their yard by - I know it seems difficult, but its not - turning things over so water doesn't accumulate in them when it rains? Do they not know that mosquitos breed in standing water? Do they think God brought mosquitos to Atlanta and we need to respect His grand design? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM.

Image
The baby Jesus wants you to suffer for the sin of
showing any skin at all, you sluts.

I was talking to a guy who owns a pest extermination company last night about this, and he agrees that people being more hygienic is really the only way Atlanta will ever make a dent in the problem. He offers an anti-mosquito treatment for US$250, sure, but "it doesn't work after the first good rain." Why? Because it's poison based, they basically spray your whole yard down with carcinogens and the mosquitos die first, your kids and pets later on. He says people often use this service for weddings and other big parties, because hey, if someone drove 15hrs to wish you well in your nuptuals, why not thank them with the gift of untreatable cancer?

It's filthy and disgusting and rude, and I can't do anything about it. Hence this rant. Carry on.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby flipflop » Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:26 pm

Any mozzie that bit you would overdose on PCP

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disgusting

Postby el3so » Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:45 pm

Yep, for a pot-smoking hippie you sure seem to get worked up easily by all sorts of small stuff 'skies.
Maybe you should consider upgrading to heroin, might calm you down you down a bit.
This town's leadership doesn't understand that we can compromise with these savage, merciless bisexual rapist-killers.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby rickshaw92 » Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:49 pm

Skies my dear, you really do rock.

if our culture didn't value huge swaths of chemically enhanced grass


Mmmmmmmmmm chemicals in the grass. Yea baby!


flipflop wrote:Any mozzie that bit you would overdose on PCP

Cheers


LOL!
Im reallly fuclimg pissed but fespite that I can still hit a tarfet at 1000m plus. mayVRVe bnot tonight but it qint beyond the wit if man. Nowhammy.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby coldharvest » Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:51 pm

Hey Motherfuckers if Sister Skies says the bitch is off then the bitch is off.
I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby rickshaw92 » Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:55 pm

I like how you capitalised Motherfuckers.
Im reallly fuclimg pissed but fespite that I can still hit a tarfet at 1000m plus. mayVRVe bnot tonight but it qint beyond the wit if man. Nowhammy.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby gnaruki » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:56 am

Don't people in Atlanta drive their cars to their mailboxes because they are too lazy and unaccustomed their own city's heat? If so, that is a sign you should run away.

How about tromping about the neighborhood kicking over stagnant vessels of water and handing out feeder fish and vector born disease pamphlets.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby nowonmai » Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:23 pm

As I have expounded in a general theme before the people who claim to be the most chillaxed are often those who are the most highly strung. Ms Skies and Ricky Shaw are 2 fine examples of such beings. If given a choice then always glass the guy with the pony tail first, he's either a martial artist or a crazed pseudo chillax merchant. Bronco is the same, Mr Laid Back and Preachy about everyone elses shit but would personally disembowel without any due process so-called pirates or anyone who interferes with plutocractic champagne socialist yachties on the high seas.

As for the case in hand, all people are disgusting, we are a disease. The only honest approaches are to either embrace this fact or to eat a gun. The most common approach is to run away to the third world and hang out with poor people, folling yourself that they wouldn't drive a Pick up and throw McDonalds wrappers out of the window the first chance they get.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby Sri Lanky » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:16 pm

It's interesting how we maybe exagerate a tad the lethality of certain species...like mosquitoes(unless you're in a jungle) or whatever causes toe jam. And on the otherhand we underestimate the lethality of certain animals like cougars(look at the cute cat),raccoons,or humans. Especially humans..but people are the only ones that can change. A cougar can only be a cougar.

...and speaking of wrappers...they are breeding grounds for skeeters because they can collect water.
Last edited by Sri Lanky on Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby kilroy » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:36 pm

a suggestion. have you tried, say, actually talking to aforementioned neighbors? i used to have a problem with my neighbors being filthy (their trash would always wind up in my yard magically). then i spoke to them about it. didn't work. then i got drunk and punched one in the face. it's much better now. so i guess my second suggestion is to resort to violence.
when they ask how you feeling
you tell em you feeling like something important died screaming
you tell em you feeling like something even more important arrived breathing
something you should probably try feeding
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby rickshaw92 » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:59 pm

so i guess my second suggestion is to resort to violence.


Should be the first one. Put the bong away for a moment and give em the good news with a hockey stick beat down.
Im reallly fuclimg pissed but fespite that I can still hit a tarfet at 1000m plus. mayVRVe bnot tonight but it qint beyond the wit if man. Nowhammy.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby coldharvest » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:26 pm

kilroy wrote:so i guess my second suggestion is to resort to violence.

violence and drunkeness......don't forget the drunkeness.
I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby LechoZX » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:50 pm

friendlyskies wrote: Hence this rant. Carry on.


You should write for Cracked.
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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby Fansy » Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:58 pm

all of you faggtz mumblin yer faggotries about one of the greatest cities on earth have been ATL shitlisted. i recommend you keep the fuck out as i and my ppls are no longer willin to guarantee your safety, good health, or overall visitin enjoyment.

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Re: My disgusting neighbors

Postby The Tourist » Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:50 am

Well, the really nice thing about America is that 'attendance is not mandatory.' While we don't guard our borders well enough to stop illegal access, we do permit you to leave anytime you wish.

A Republic is a messy proposition at best. No politburo despot telling you what to think, how to act or subsidize you from cradle to grave. All those huge suburban backyards and no one in charge! Yes, I know it's frightening. I hear Romania does a lot of the thinking for it's subjects, and there's probably cheap healthcare there, too, however you get what you pay for.

Have a safe trip out. Hey, more for me.
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