Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Expectorate your wit here.

Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby Woodsman » Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:38 pm

Scenario:

Electromagnetic pulses due to significant solar storms have fully destroyed the electrical power grid world wide along with 99% of all the electronic and electrical equipment. The government no longer exists since there has been no way to transport fuel for months, very few have any food left and 95% of the population has died of thirst, starvation, hypothermia, heat stroke, exhaustion and environmental toxins.

The life blood sucking hoard brainwashed to abolish the existence of human kind has ascended on your compound with scavenged small arm weapons and bullet resistant armor they have swiped from cop shops of all conventional types. Their ammo is limited to what they could carry on foot for 10 miles.

It is night time and the sensors you set up (carefully stored underground in a faraday cage ) have detected human movement toward your crop fields which span up to 100m from your compound.

Environment:

Hardened above surface compound with 200m maximum range based on topography. Small arms cannot penetrate the sand bag layered ferrocement & laminated polycarbonate structure. There are some poly windows that slide open & close quickly on 4 sides of the rectangular structure for taking shots.

You are left with one long arm only and a few part kits for it, but your ammo storage is pretty good still.

What long arm do you HOPE to still have left to defeat the masses and support the continuance of human existence?
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7426
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby Woodsman » Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:37 pm

Oh come on you lame-0s play my game!
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7426
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby Caliban » Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:21 pm

OK. A Daisy cutter.
"If you sit still the birds shit on you, even Buddha, life's short so get out there and do something"
"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?" Snoopy
User avatar
Caliban
Oeconomus Cum Vagus
 
Posts: 5181
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:04 pm
Location: The "pool of life"

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby JITW » Mon May 07, 2012 4:55 pm

Are you fucking 12 Woodsman?


~JITW
DEATH VALLEY MAGAZINE
The Magazine for Professional Adventurers and Interesting People
http://www.deathvalleymag.com
User avatar
JITW
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 978
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:28 am
Location: Virginia - Iraq - Kurdistan - Indonesia - Thailand

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby DarthChicken » Mon May 07, 2012 7:15 pm

A spoon!
DarthChicken
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:20 pm

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby Woodsman » Mon May 07, 2012 8:12 pm

JITW wrote:Are you fucking 12 Woodsman?
~JITW


Just answer the fucking question, numb nuts.

I'll answer it for you on your behalf: an AK variant with a folding stock.
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7426
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Postby el3so » Mon May 07, 2012 11:34 pm

I was gonna vote for a pack of ravished dogs but since that isn't technically a "long arm", I'll vote for a light mortar and a pack of ravished dogs.
she isn't a man you need to shut your fucking mouth little pussy bitch - random Youtube comment
User avatar
el3so
Creepy Uncle
 
Posts: 7921
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:25 am
Location: Beglium

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby ktrout » Tue May 08, 2012 7:50 am

Saiga 12?
Be nice to me. I'm a rug muncher.
User avatar
ktrout
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2004 6:12 am
Location: USDA Climate zone 9b

Re:

Postby Caliban » Tue May 08, 2012 9:43 pm

el3so wrote:I was gonna vote for a pack of ravished dogs but since that isn't technically a "long arm", I'll vote for a light mortar and a pack of ravished dogs.


The zombies ravished the dogs ? ! Oh the humanity, the fucking dog fuckers !
"If you sit still the birds shit on you, even Buddha, life's short so get out there and do something"
"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?" Snoopy
User avatar
Caliban
Oeconomus Cum Vagus
 
Posts: 5181
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:04 pm
Location: The "pool of life"

Re: Re:

Postby nowonmai » Wed May 09, 2012 12:00 am

Caliban wrote:
el3so wrote:I was gonna vote for a pack of ravished dogs but since that isn't technically a "long arm", I'll vote for a light mortar and a pack of ravished dogs.


The zombies ravished the dogs ? ! Oh the humanity, the fucking dog fuckers !


I would fire a huge manatee at them using one of my submarine based ICBHMMs. I would have some MIRHMs to spoof their counter-measures and to maintain a second strike capability I will have trains loaded with ICBHMMs moving randomly on Britain's rail network, like every other train as it happens. If the huge manatee doesn't work I'll break out the itching powder and stink bombs. Failing that I'll phone the council and see if they have a Zombie Control Officer available at reasonable rates.
User avatar
nowonmai
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 11521
Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 8:52 pm

Postby el3so » Wed May 09, 2012 2:23 am

Caliban wrote:The zombies ravished the dogs?
Everyone is cool with the unprovoked shooting of unarmed fellow citizens on account of them being "zombified" but try to bring up what might turn out to be a revolutionary method of rearing domesticated animals in a post-apocalyptic setting and suddenly everyone starts asking questions.

j/k it was indeed a typo. I meant of course a pack of ravishing dogs.
she isn't a man you need to shut your fucking mouth little pussy bitch - random Youtube comment
User avatar
el3so
Creepy Uncle
 
Posts: 7921
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 9:25 am
Location: Beglium

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby coldharvest » Wed May 09, 2012 1:50 pm

I'd kill them with my unicorn.
I know the law. And I have spent my entire life in its flagrant disregard.
User avatar
coldharvest
Abdul Rahman
 
Posts: 25677
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 2:36 am
Location: Island of Misfit Toys

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby Woodsman » Wed May 09, 2012 2:23 pm

Now this is more like it. :)
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7426
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Re:

Postby Woodsman » Wed May 09, 2012 2:30 pm

nowonmai wrote:
Caliban wrote:
el3so wrote:I was gonna vote for a pack of ravished dogs but since that isn't technically a "long arm", I'll vote for a light mortar and a pack of ravished dogs.


The zombies ravished the dogs ? ! Oh the humanity, the fucking dog fuckers !


I would fire a huge manatee at them using one of my submarine based ICBHMMs. I would have some MIRHMs to spoof their counter-measures and to maintain a second strike capability I will have trains loaded with ICBHMMs moving randomly on Britain's rail network, like every other train as it happens. If the huge manatee doesn't work I'll break out the itching powder and stink bombs. Failing that I'll phone the council and see if they have a Zombie Control Officer available at reasonable rates.


Who would want to get hit by a giant airborne manatee? Oh my! That really is a weapon of mass destruction.
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7426
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Right choice to survive the zombie apocolypse

Postby JITW » Wed May 09, 2012 4:07 pm

coldharvest wrote:I'd kill them with my unicorn.


Hahaaaa...


~JITW
DEATH VALLEY MAGAZINE
The Magazine for Professional Adventurers and Interesting People
http://www.deathvalleymag.com
User avatar
JITW
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 978
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:28 am
Location: Virginia - Iraq - Kurdistan - Indonesia - Thailand

Next

Return to Rants, Flame Wars, Opinions and humor

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron