Jamaica?

The Black Flag Cafe is the place travelers come to share stories and advice. Moderated by Robert Young Pelton the author of The World's Most Dangerous Places.

Moderator: coldharvest

Postby AK74 » Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:57 am

Keep in mind that there is great deal of somewhat justified paranoia on the island regarding whites who work undercover for the either the DEA or CIA.

Just stick to the little kiosks scattered all around the island which sell HQ 420 for less than a GW.
User avatar
AK74
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 147
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 2:10 pm

Postby Lord Kitchener » Mon Aug 14, 2006 5:57 pm

You didn't get run over by the Red Stripe truck did you?
I live to travel
Lord Kitchener
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2006 5:43 pm
Location: Nantucket Imperial District

Re: Jamaica?

Postby El Presidente » Fri Jul 08, 2011 6:10 am

Just got back from Jamaica 48 hours ago. Here is what I learned:

-Jamaican men are usually very friendly, but don't give attitude towards the women unless you want to be emasculated with one death glare
-Red Stripe gives about the best buzz of any beer on the planet
-Watch out for sandlfies. If you come back and look like your limbs have chicken pox, get a shot from your doc.
-Whenever a Jamaican man at a resort starts fist bumping you and telling you welcome to Jamaica, and says "no problem," and starts dropping "mon" everywhere they are trained to do so because this is what most dumb white people think of Jamaica. "No problem" is Jamaican to whites translated (otherwise known as Englishmen) as "Fuck you"
-"Jerk" chicken that Jamaicans continuously brag about is nothing more than grilled chicken, and improperly done, has the same in mouth texture as your Mom's incredibly dried out roast chicken that you need 3 gulps of water to wash down
-Any seafood is quite good
-While you might think Jamaica is easy going, customs and immigration is not. Cooperate fully, and dispense with any pot smuggling jokes you may have stored up. These fuckers are all bizness.
-The best and safest way to score you-know-what is on the beach after 6pm. Its cool, the fuzz doesnt want to cause the locals any troubles. Let the local come up to you and ask you if you smoke. If you approach them, they will shy away fearing you are a narc. But the shit you get will be very, very mild
-It will rain, heavily, almost every day from 3-4pm
-The drivers are all suicidal maniacs, as well as the roadside pedestrians
-Riu Tropical Palace in Negril sucks ass, go with Sandals instead if you are doing all-inclusive
User avatar
El Presidente
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 692
Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2004 11:56 pm

Re: Jamaica?

Postby Woodsman » Fri Jul 08, 2011 6:19 pm

Not having been there for about 15 years, I would say almost everything you have suggested is par with what I learned when I was there too.

However, if I was going to go back again, I would not hesitate going there with a shitty small backpack of clothes, food, hammock, tarp, some canteens, pick up a cheap steak knife or pocket knife in some open air market, walk the hills up in Trelawny and I would never even think about visiting there without walking around a LOT in cockpit country.

The beaches are cool, but why travel somewhere really awesome just to stick in the tourist areas.

I would recommend going to Kingston too - walk around in Trench town about 1 in the morning. Sweet.



El Presidente wrote:Just got back from Jamaica 48 hours ago. Here is what I learned:

-Jamaican men are usually very friendly, but don't give attitude towards the women unless you want to be emasculated with one death glare
-Red Stripe gives about the best buzz of any beer on the planet
-Watch out for sandlfies. If you come back and look like your limbs have chicken pox, get a shot from your doc.
-Whenever a Jamaican man at a resort starts fist bumping you and telling you welcome to Jamaica, and says "no problem," and starts dropping "mon" everywhere they are trained to do so because this is what most dumb white people think of Jamaica. "No problem" is Jamaican to whites translated (otherwise known as Englishmen) as "Fuck you"
-"Jerk" chicken that Jamaicans continuously brag about is nothing more than grilled chicken, and improperly done, has the same in mouth texture as your Mom's incredibly dried out roast chicken that you need 3 gulps of water to wash down
-Any seafood is quite good
-While you might think Jamaica is easy going, customs and immigration is not. Cooperate fully, and dispense with any pot smuggling jokes you may have stored up. These fuckers are all bizness.
-The best and safest way to score you-know-what is on the beach after 6pm. Its cool, the fuzz doesnt want to cause the locals any troubles. Let the local come up to you and ask you if you smoke. If you approach them, they will shy away fearing you are a narc. But the shit you get will be very, very mild
-It will rain, heavily, almost every day from 3-4pm
-The drivers are all suicidal maniacs, as well as the roadside pedestrians
-Riu Tropical Palace in Negril sucks ass, go with Sandals instead if you are doing all-inclusive
Life is short. Eat, Drink & Be Merry!
User avatar
Woodsman
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 7429
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:59 pm
Location: Enchanted forests

Re: Jamaica?

Postby deselby » Fri Jul 08, 2011 6:22 pm

Thanks for the report. I like Jamaica, it's a nice getaway for doing nothing.

Negril is better than Montego Bay, if you stay seaside you don't have to wear shoes the whole time you're there.

I stayed at Sunset on the Beach in Negril, it was great for the price. I've also stayed at the Wexford in Montego Bay, it was cozy enough.

I've never wanted to go all-inclusive, it would make me feel like a prisoner. I've stayed in enough "all inclusive resorts" in Iraq.
User avatar
deselby
BFCus Regularus
 
Posts: 1284
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:06 am

Re: Jamaica?

Postby Sri Lanky » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:10 pm

Been there 3 times.

First at a place made almost completely out of wicker just outside Ocho Rios owned by a guy named Bongo Silly. I ended up spending a few days with some people that lived off the land nearby. There are loads of squatters in Jamaica.

Second time we drove around the entire island and spent most of the time in Kingston and Cedar Valley up in the mountains. Kingston is one large ghetto. From what I've heard of Lagos you could probably compare Kingston as a mini version of it. One night I was walking with a young child in my arms and people would continuously yell out,"Hey,why are you carrying that black baby?!" or to that effect. Ignorant fuckers. Cedar Valley was cool however. As usual people tend to be friendlier in rural areas.

Third time I got set up by police in Montego Bay and that's the last time I ventured to that generally fucked up island. Negril is OK but it attracts too many hippie types...and I don't know what it's like now but when I was there,there were swarms of crackheads.
Sri Lanky
 

Previous

Return to Black Flag Cafe

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests