Moderator: coldharvest
El Presidente wrote:Just got back from Jamaica 48 hours ago. Here is what I learned:
-Jamaican men are usually very friendly, but don't give attitude towards the women unless you want to be emasculated with one death glare
-Red Stripe gives about the best buzz of any beer on the planet
-Watch out for sandlfies. If you come back and look like your limbs have chicken pox, get a shot from your doc.
-Whenever a Jamaican man at a resort starts fist bumping you and telling you welcome to Jamaica, and says "no problem," and starts dropping "mon" everywhere they are trained to do so because this is what most dumb white people think of Jamaica. "No problem" is Jamaican to whites translated (otherwise known as Englishmen) as "Fuck you"
-"Jerk" chicken that Jamaicans continuously brag about is nothing more than grilled chicken, and improperly done, has the same in mouth texture as your Mom's incredibly dried out roast chicken that you need 3 gulps of water to wash down
-Any seafood is quite good
-While you might think Jamaica is easy going, customs and immigration is not. Cooperate fully, and dispense with any pot smuggling jokes you may have stored up. These fuckers are all bizness.
-The best and safest way to score you-know-what is on the beach after 6pm. Its cool, the fuzz doesnt want to cause the locals any troubles. Let the local come up to you and ask you if you smoke. If you approach them, they will shy away fearing you are a narc. But the shit you get will be very, very mild
-It will rain, heavily, almost every day from 3-4pm
-The drivers are all suicidal maniacs, as well as the roadside pedestrians
-Riu Tropical Palace in Negril sucks ass, go with Sandals instead if you are doing all-inclusive
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