I punch like a sissy !

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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Chimborazo » Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:11 pm

Q wrote:
Chimborazo wrote:I tried that on Saturday night and got my ass kicked. Thanks a lot.



No better way to learn how to fight, than to get your ass kicked a couple times.


True, a couple of times is a great way to learn. But every time is getting old.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Jäeger » Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:12 pm

Haven't you heard? Punching people is obsolete. You have to take MMA lessons and then next time you get into a scrap, you give the guy a big hug, pull him on top of you and put him in your "scorpion death lock". Problem solved.

On a serious note, find something heavy and preferably metal, to hit the bastard with as hard, fast and often as possible.

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Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Chimborazo » Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:13 pm

nowonmai wrote:
Chimborazo wrote:
nowonmai wrote:God I can't post it again so soon. The details of the technique is: raise one hand in the air with arm outstretched to the ceiling, point the other to the ground, arm outstretched. Do this at approximately 5m distance from your opponent. Start circling the arms as rapidly as possible and build up speed - in order to maximise your chi you need at least 90RPM. Once you have reached maximum speed then advance quickly on your opponent - in this way chairs, tables, even walls will not be an obstacle - all will be swept aside by the sheer power of this kata. Good luck grasshopper.


I tried that on Saturday night and got my ass kicked. Thanks a lot.


In my experience this is almost always a failure to achieve the minimum RPM. Did you measure it?

All combatants should note that this advice does not constitute a legal liability and fights may be lost as well as won.


Hmmmmmno, I didn't. I'll try again this weekend and this time I'll measure.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby OneLungMcClung » Tue Feb 24, 2009 2:01 am

Dude, (the OP), you need to go to the Coldharvest/Jaeger school of fighting.

It is there that you will learn Flying Bar Stool Death, Loose Brick Style, and Iron Bar Kung Fu.

Punching is for drunks or your family. If someone you don't know really wants to fight you thats when its time to hurt them with movable objects or force them into fixed ones.


Edited: Jaeger posted
On a serious note, find something heavy and preferably metal, to hit the bastard with as hard, fast and often as possible.


NOW WHAT'D I JUST SAY?!?!??!
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Expat » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:57 pm

The answer is DON't USE YOUR FISTS to hit people. A misspent youth taught me this the hard way and now my hands look like they've been run over by a car.

Much mo betta is to use hands palm out to protect your face and deflect punches. Work in close then use forearms and knees (they're much harder). Jaeger makes a good point about random object fu as well.

Be kind to your hands. You'll need them for masturbation when you get older and nobody will screw you anymore.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby coldharvest » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:04 pm

Expat wrote:The answer is DON't USE YOUR FISTS to hit people. A misspent youth taught me this the hard way and now my hands look like they've been run over by a car.

Much mo betta is to use hands palm out to protect your face and deflect punches. Work in close then use forearms and knees (they're much harder). Jaeger makes a good point about random object fu as well.

Be kind to your hands. You'll need them for masturbation when you get older and nobody will screw you anymore.

Once again Expat you show that if this place was a University you'd be a professor
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Jäeger » Wed Feb 25, 2009 5:37 pm

With tenure.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby RYP » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:52 am

Don't punch....poke and poke again. Then while your opponent is scrambling around on his knees trying to find his eyeballs. You can calmly drink his beer and leave with his girlfriend.
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Postby el3so » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:57 pm

skynet prompt: witty line, a bit offensive, medium levels of spelling error, Rastafy by 10 % or so
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby ElPeregrino » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:44 am

Take either a Krav Maga class (which is getting a bit too mainstream for my tastes) or find a guru that teaches Filipino Kali/Escrima (yes, they are called gurus, like senseis in karate). Both arts teach you how to not only fight well with your fists, but also with your elbows and knees. Kali and Escrima also teach very practical self defense techniques, such as countering knife attacks and how to escape locks.
Malo periculosam libertatem quam quietum servitium.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Sean H » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:58 am

Do some bag work, on a light, then a heavy bag. A roll of coins in the fist, or a 6 inch section of wooden dowelling. Have at least an inch protruding from the pinkie side of the fist. Hammer the end into the bugger's eye, nose, or just below the bottom lip. Do NOT hit him in the temple, unless it is your dear wish to spend the next 15 years having an over friendly cell mate breathing down the back of your neck, whilst exploring your colon with "little Elvis".
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Kurt » Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:33 pm

ElPeregrino wrote:Take either a Krav Maga class (which is getting a bit too mainstream for my tastes)


So Krav Maga is to martial arts now what REM was to college music in the late 80's?


Anyway, screw all of that. Hire crackheads to both take and deliver the punches for you. They are kinda like having a roll of paper towels handy.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby coldharvest » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:20 pm

Kurt wrote:
ElPeregrino wrote:Take either a Krav Maga class (which is getting a bit too mainstream for my tastes)


So Krav Maga is to martial arts now what REM was to college music in the late 80's?


Anyway, screw all of that. Hire crackheads to both take and deliver the punches for you. They are kinda like having a roll of paper towels handy.

A rolling phalanx of crack-heads with matching livery would be quite something to see.
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby ElPeregrino » Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:57 pm

Kurt wrote:
ElPeregrino wrote:Take either a Krav Maga class (which is getting a bit too mainstream for my tastes)


So Krav Maga is to martial arts now what REM was to college music in the late 80's?


In my opinion, yeah. Too many forty-something women with pepper spray in their Gucci bags at the local gym for me to stick around.

On the other hand, Kali/Escrima teaches the same empty hand techniques as Krav combined with some weapons stuff focusing mainly on knife defense and escrima (glorified bamboo sticks) fighting.

But yes, it never hurts to find a horde of fucked-up crackheads to follow you around and kick people's asses when they piss you off.

Or just try to avoid the situation (never worked for me in the situations I think you're describing though).
Malo periculosam libertatem quam quietum servitium.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
—Ambrose Bierce—
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Re: I punch like a sissy !

Postby Zero » Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:19 pm

http://www.gutterfighting.org/

This is 'fighting arts', American style. There is actually a very strong American martial tradition which, like Kendo, was largely forgotten by the common culture from 1950 on. There was however a time when the following was relatively normal: two men who had been nominal friends all their lives developed a dispute over an insult, one challenged the other to a duel, and then, after wounding the loser with his pistol, finished the job with his knife. Additionally, early 20th century 'brawling' in rings and cages typically did not have prohibitions on low blows and holds, and the 'rough and tumble' style of fighting looked very different from today's UFC.
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