by Fansy » Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:07 am
mormons believe that stuff too about dead relative being around and shit. at first when i found out i was like 'fuck i wish i had known that sooner' not just for masturbation but like shitting without wiping and biting my toenails in private and shavin my ball hair even though it took tons of time even though i didnt have any really and i probably looked gay as fuck to all the ghosts and shit.
but then i realized fuck them all their dead relatives saw them do gross stupid nasty shit too and they had to face all them after they died and they survived. presumably. anyways i didnt care about dead gay men jacking off to me naked so much to each is own and all, but the dead relative thing i finally said "look motherfuckers if youre in here watching me you clearly have some fucked up reason for which i wont judge youas long as you dont judge me". it seemed to work.
more importantly we had lots of genealogy materials/old stuff from families since we were mormon, so i saw tons of my dead female relatives and many of them were not bad at all, espec with their old dresses and haristyles and shit. thinking of my dead female relatives watching me jerk it at night quickly rose to insta-30-sec-cum status for a few months.
i continued masturbating and enjoying porn to this very day. altho i no longer believe in my original church or anything, i do get wistful thinking about dead relatives might be standing by whilst i rub one out. like what if i have a heart attack or start choking or click on a link to gay porn 'accidentally' and 'accidentally' finish soon after. its comforting to imagine someone is right here next to me who cares about me, ready to step in and help see me through the initial emergency and whatever recovery process is required. even if the only reason theyre watching me is cause theyre serious pervs. im gonna do the same thing if i can after i die. maybe not to family members tho, and not guys either...at least not for the first 1-2 generations or so.
"...we support members' rights to privacy."
- Robert Young Pelton