The most unpleasant lay?

The Black Flag Cafe is the place travelers come to share stories and advice. Moderated by Robert Young Pelton the author of The World's Most Dangerous Places.

Moderator: coldharvest

Who is the worst?

Goddamned Arabs
1
8%
Goddamned French
2
17%
Fukkin Israelis
2
17%
the Brittish
3
25%
Germans
1
8%
LP backpackers
3
25%
 
Total votes : 12

The most unpleasant lay?

Postby shivers » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:35 pm

The worst would have to be the gang bang with the smelly, vituperative Palistinian, and the even ruder and smellier Frenchman. The cheesy contents of his foreskin made the spread at an art gallery opening look like Aphrodite's wedding banquet. What really put it over the top was that Israeli who kept bitching and moaning that I charged him too much for anal, and then whined that my sphincter was too loose.

I feel for ya, Buzzy.
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Postby lonelymoon » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:37 pm

my nerf football in grade 7
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Postby Kurt » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:39 pm

I think I missed something here.
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Postby lonelymoon » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:44 pm

The cheesy contents of his foreskin made the spread at an art gallery opening look like Aphrodite's wedding banquet.

ALL RIGHT!!!

now that is a classic X makes Y look like Z simile

thank you
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Postby goat balls » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:52 pm

Shivers...almost daily, a woman will say something to me and it makes no sense whatsoever...men and women speak a different language..and you just did it to me again
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Postby lonelymoon » Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:59 pm

I can vaguely remember something that felt like fucking a bowl of sandy jell-o on a boat out at sea.

another great simile

thanks cold
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Postby seektravelinfo » Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:00 am

As pure as the driven snow I am I can say I have had sex with none of the categories listed above. I will henceforth consider the list to be a
no fly zone, why else would you note them, Shivers?
I did make out with a Saudi once, he was a good kisser, but alas, I stopped him.
"I wish the women would hurry up and take over." (Leonard Cohen)
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Postby Skeleguy » Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:06 am

School secratary during Senior year of high school, at lunch, at my house, getting caught by my mom. yells, screams, tears and not even completion.
Mom & headmaster wigged, but relented after I informed them that I knew THEY were doing the horizontal Mambo, and HE was married.

He went easy on me and Ellen went away.
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Obligatory quote from Rejected:

Postby SRR » Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:21 am

For the love of God and all that is holy... MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!

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Postby RYP » Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:41 am

You people were either too severley toilet trained or home schooled...

Get yer mind out of the gutter!

All I can say is that even the worst lay can be the best lay depending on circumstances...
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Those fucking (fill in the blank)!

Postby shivers » Sat Aug 21, 2004 2:59 am

Thanks to all of you who shared your true stories. I suppose I should return the favor. My confession: this stupid poll was a satire of the bashing of this, that, or the other ethnicity that goes on at BFC. I really didn't expect anybody to take it seriously. I've never had an unpleasant sexual experience with any of the above.

Hell, folks here seem to love talking about hookers. I hope somebody got a laugh.

(For the record, all the bad hygenic experiences I've had were with white American males. All the Arab and French men I've been with were clean enough to eat off of, and polite to boot.)
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Postby kilroy » Sat Aug 21, 2004 3:12 am

haha, SRR, so you've seen that animated short, too? my favorite is when the writer starts crumpling the pages and everyone starts dying.

'ive got a spoon.'

'i'm a banana'

as for the poll, my only experience is with american high school girls(when i was a high schooler, you pervs), and american college girls (i'm still in college). so, generalizing based on my experiences, the best lay is americans, and the worst lay is americans.
when they ask how you feeling
you tell em you feeling like something important died screaming
you tell em you feeling like something even more important arrived breathing
something you should probably try feeding
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Postby Texas Carnie Roadshow » Sat Aug 21, 2004 3:16 am

kilroy wrote:my only experience is with american high school girls.


Interesting, it sounds a lot like Pigg's experience, except for the being in high school part.
When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? To surrender dreams - -this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness! But maddest of all - -to see life as it is and not as it should be.
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a

Postby Piggs » Sat Aug 21, 2004 4:04 am

I banged the ugliest chick in my Army unit during my last deployment...

She was a bad lay too...

You can ask Britneyfan how ugly she was...
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Postby shivers » Sat Aug 21, 2004 4:11 am

no Hot Carl for Piggs?
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