He isn't the first to write something like this.
"The Atlantic Monthly" 31 May, 1860 offers a description of one such individual unlucky enough to be born into a political climate which allowed him to attempt to cash the checks his mouth wrote with his ass:
http://fulltextarchive.com/pages/Atlant ... -18603.php It's worth reading in full, but for the purposes of this thread, it may be worth skipping the account of the trial, and going straight to the account of the goatfuck.
GENERAL MIRANDA'S EXPEDITION.
In November, 1805, a good-looking foreigner, gentlemanlike in dress
and in manner, and apparently fifty years of age, arrived in New York
from England, and took lodgings at Mrs. Avery's, State Street. He
called himself George Martin; but this incognito was intended only for
the vulgar. Some of the principal citizens of New York, who recollected
his first visit to this country twenty years before, knew him as Don
Francisco de Miranda of Caracas, one of the most distinguished
adventurers of that revolutionary era,--a favorite of the Empress of
Russia, a friend of Mr. Pitt, and second in command under Dumouriez in
the Belgian campaign of 1793. To these gentlemen he avowed that for
many years he had meditated the independence of the Spanish-American
Colonies, and meant to make an attempt to carry out his plans. On
Evacuation Day, a New York festival, which is now nearly worn out, they
invited him to a Corporation dinner, as a foreign officer of rank, and
toasted him, wishing him the same success in South America that we had
had here. He then went to Washington, under the name of Molini. There,
as everywhere, he was received by the best society as General Miranda.
The President and the Secretary of State, Mr. Madison, granted him
several private interviews. In January he returned to New York,--and on
the 2d of February departed thence mysteriously in the Leander, a ship
belonging to Mr. Samuel G. Ogden, merchant.
While the Leander lay at anchor off Staten Island, a gentleman notified
the Naval Officer of the Port, that large quantities of arms and
ammunition had been taken on board of her in boats, at night. He was
informed in return, that the Leander was cleared for Jacquemel, and
that no law existed to prevent her from sailing. No other attempt was
made to detain her; but a few weeks later, rumors affecting the
character of the ship broke out in a more decided form. It was
generally believed at the Tontine Coffee-House that the Leander had
been fitted out by Miranda to attack the Spanish possessions in the
West India Islands or on the Main. And yet the New York journals took
no notice of her until the 21st of February, nineteen days after she
sailed. In the mean time the Marquis Yrujo, backed by the French
Ambassador, had made a formal complaint to Government, and had caused
the insertion in the "Philadelphia Gazette" of a series of
interrogatories to Mr. Madison, which indirectly accused the
Administration of encouraging Miranda's preparations, or at least of
conniving at the expedition. This perverse Marquis, who gave Mr.
Jefferson a taste of the annoyance which Genet, Adet, and Fauchet had
inflicted upon the previous administrations, was clamorous and
persisting. The authorities in Washington thought it proper to order
the arrest of Mr. Ogden, and of Colonel William Smith, son-in-law of
John Adams and Surveyor of the Port of New York, under the Act of 1794.
The prisoners were taken before Judge Tallmadge of the United States
District Court. They were refused counsel, and were forced by threats
of imprisonment to submit to a searching examination. They were then
held to bail, both as principals and witnesses, in the sum of twenty
thousand dollars. Soon after, the President removed Colonel Smith from
his office.
Such a waste of editorial raw-material appears very singular to
newspaper-readers of the present day, accustomed as they are to see in
print everything that has happened or that might have happened; but we
must recollect that our grandfathers found the excitement necessary to
civilized man in party politics, national and local. This game they
played with a fierce eagerness which is now limited to a small class of
inferior men.
To the violence and personal spitefulness of their newspaper articles
we have fortunately nothing comparable, even in the speeches of
Honorable Members on Helper and John Brown. The "_Tu quoque_" and the
"_Vos damnamini_" were their favorite logical processes, and "Fool" and
"Liar" the simple and conclusive arguments with which they established
a principle. Not that these ancients suffered at all from a lack of
stirring news. Bonaparte's wonderful campaigns, (Austerlitz had just
been heard of in New York,) the outrages on our sailors by English
cruisers, our merchantmen plundered by French and Spanish privateers,
the irritating behavior of the Dons in Louisiana, kept them abundantly
supplied with this staff of mental life. But they did not care much for
news in the abstract as news, unless they could work it up into
political ammunition and discharge it at each other's heads. We must
not forget, too, that newspaper-editing, the "California of the
spiritually vagabond," as Carlyle calls it, was a recent discovery, and
that the rich mine was but surface-worked. "Our own Reporter" was, like
Milton's original lion, only half unearthed; and deep hidden from
mortal eyes as yet lay the sensation-items-man, who has made the
last-dying-speech-and-confession style of literature the principal
element of our daily press.
At last the Federal editors gave tongue. It was high time; the town was
in an uproar. They perceived that Miranda might become a useful ally
against Mr. T. Jefferson. His expedition came opportunely, as the
Mammoth Cheese and Black Sally were beginning to grow stale. Mr. Lang
opened the cry in the "New York Gazette" by asserting the complicity of
Government, on the authority of a "gentleman of the first
respectability,"--meaning Mr. Rufus King.--Cheetham, of the "Citizen,"
barked back at Lang, a would-be "Solomon," "a foul and abominable
slanderer." Mr. King, he could prove, had been examined, and had
nothing to reveal.--Tom Paine wrote to the "Citizen" to mention that he
had known Miranda in New York in 1783 and in Paris in 1793. Mr.
Littlepage of Virginia, Chamberlain to the King of Poland, had then
informed him that the Empress Catharine had given Miranda four thousand
pounds "as a retaining fee," and that Mr. Pitt had also paid him twelve
hundred pounds for his services in the Nootka Sound business.--All the
Federal papers charged the Government with connivance. You knew the
destination of the Leander; you did not prevent her from sailing; you
nourished the offence until it attained maturity, and then, after
permitting the principals to go upon this expedition, you seize upon
the accessories who remain at home. And in how shameful and illegal a
way! You examine them before a single judge, with no counsel to advise
them. You force them to criminate themselves, and to sign their
confessions, by the threat of imprisonment; and you punish Colonel
Smith before you have tried him, by depriving him of his office. Why,
such a proceeding is worse than any "Inquisitorial Tribunal" or
"Star-Chamber Court."--Nonsense! answered the Democrats. Ogden's and
Smith's testimony does not implicate the Government in the least. It
only proves that Smith has been the dupe of Miranda. The President knew
nothing about the matter. If the object of the Leander's outfit was so
generally spoken of, why did it escape the notice of the Marquis Yrujo?
Why did he not demand her seizure before she sailed? This charge
against the Government is a mere Federal trick. Your friends, the
British, are at the bottom of the expedition, and they have artfully
employed Rufus King, a Federal chief, to throw the blame upon the
Executive of the United States. By ascribing to those who administer
the government the atrocities committed by Transatlantic rulers, you
aim a deadly blow at the character of our system; and your conduct,
base in any view we can take of it, is particularly reprehensible in
the delicate state of our relations with Spain.
Mr. Cadwallader Golden, of counsel for the defendants, made a motion
before Judge Tallmadge for an order to prevent the District Attorney
from using the preliminary evidence taken at the private examinations.
"It was a proceeding," he said, "arbitrary and subversive of the first
principles of law and liberty,"--"which would have disgraced the reign
of Charles and stained the character of Jeffries." The District
Attorney was heard in opposition, and was successful.
On the 7th of April, the Grand Jury found a bill against Smith, Ogden,
Miranda, and Thomas Lewis, captain of the Leander, for "setting on foot
and beginning with force and arms a certain military enterprise or
expedition, to be carried on from the United States against the
dominions of a foreign prince: to wit, the dominions of the King of
Spain; the said King of Spain then and there being at peace with the
United States." The Grand Jury, as an evidence of their impartiality,
or of the public feeling, also handed the Judge a presentment of
himself, which he put into his pocket, censuring his conduct in the
private examinations, because "unusual, oppressive, and contrary to
law."
The trial was set down for the 14th of July. Messrs. Ogden and Smith
did not wait so long for a hearing. They laid their case at once before
the public, in two memorials addressed to Congress, complaining
bitterly of the prosecution, not to say persecution, instituted against
them by the authorities in Washington, and of the cruel and oppressive
measures taken by Judge Tallmadge to carry out the mandates of his
superiors. If they had done wrong, they urged, it was innocently. A war
with Spain was imminent. The critical position of the Louisiana
Boundary question, the President's Message of the 6th of December, and
the documents accompanying it, left no doubts on that point. Were they
not right, then, in supposing, that, under these circumstances, the
President would encourage an expedition against the colonies of a
hostile power? As evidence of Mr. Jefferson's knowledge of Miranda's
schemes, they stated that the General had brought with him from England
a letter to "a gentleman of the first consequence in New York," (Mr.
King,) which contained a sketch of his project: this letter was
forwarded to the Secretary of State and laid before the President by
him. Miranda then went to Washington, saw the President and the
Secretary, and wrote to the memorialists that he had fully unfolded his
plans to both. In the course of a long conversation with Mr. Madison,
he asked for pecuniary assistance and for open encouragement, on the
ground that individuals might not be willing to join in the enterprise,
if Government did not approve it,--particularly as a bill was then
before Congress to prohibit the exportation of arms. He also requested
leave of absence for Colonel Smith, who wished to accompany him. Mr.
Madison answered, that the sentiments of the President could not be
doubted, but that the Government of the United States could afford no
assistance of any kind. Private individuals were at liberty to act as
they pleased, provided they did not violate the laws; and New York
merchants would always advance money, if they saw their advantage in
it. As to the bill Miranda had spoken of, it was unlikely that it would
pass,--and, in fact, it did not. It was impossible, Mr. Madison added,
to grant leave of absence to Colonel Smith, although he thought him
better fitted for military employment than for the custom-house. He
closed the interview by recommending the greatest discretion.
Miranda, continued the memorialists, remained fourteen days in
Washington after this conversation, and returned to New York confident
of the silent approval of Government. Eleven days before the Leander
sailed, he sent a letter to Mr. Madison, inclosing another to Mr.
Jefferson, both of which he read to Ogden and to Smith. He assured Mr.
Madison that he had conformed in every way to the intentions of
Government, and requested him to keep the secret. To Mr. Jefferson he
wrote in a strain more fashionable ten years before than then, but well
adapted to the sentimentality, both scientific and political, of the
"Philosophic President." Here it is:--
"I have the honor to send you, inclosed, the 'Natural and Civil History
of Chili,' of which we conversed at Washington,--and in which you will,
perhaps, find more than in those which have been before published on
the same subject, concerning this beautiful country.
"If ever the happy prediction, which you have pronounced on the future
destiny of our dear Columbia, is to be accomplished in our day, may
Providence grant that it may be under your auspices, and by the
generous efforts of her own children! We shall then, in some sort,
behold the revival of that age, the return of which the Roman bard
invoked in favor of the human race:--
"'The last great age foretold by sacred rhymes
Renews its finished course; Saturnian times
Roll round again; and mighty years, begun
From this first orb, in radiant circles run.'"
On Miranda's reports, these letters, and the fact that the Leander had
not been seized, they rested their case, and prayed for the
interference of Congress in their behalf.
Congress unanimously granted the petitioners leave to withdraw. Such
evidence as this, not only hearsay, but heard from the party most
interested in misrepresenting the Administration, was not entitled to
much consideration. It had, moreover, the additional disadvantage of
proving nothing against the President and Secretary, even if every word
of it were admitted as true.
Public attention was diverted from the Leander, Captain Lewis, to the
Leander, Captain Whitby. This English frigate was cruising off Sandy
Hook, bringing to inward and outward bound vessels, searching them for
articles contraband of war, and helping herself to able-bodied seamen
who looked like British subjects. All of which was meekly submitted to
in 1806. Mr. Jefferson could not overcome his doubts as to the
constitutionality of a fleet, and the Opposition had the twofold
pleasure of chuckling over the insults offered by John Bull to a
government with French proclivities, and of reproaching the party in
power with its supineness and want of spirit.
But the accident of the 25th of April brought the American people to a
proper sense of their situation, for the moment. On that day, His
British Majesty's ship Leander fired a round-shot into the sloop
Richard, bound to New York, and killed the man at the helm, John
Pierce. The body was brought to the city and borne through the
principal streets, in the midst of universal excitement, anger, and
cries for vengeance. Black streamers were displayed from the houses;
shops were closed; the newspapers appeared in mourning. A public
funeral was attended by the whole population. Captain Whitby was
indicted for murder, and took care to keep out of the reach of United
States law-officers. This homicide happened just in time for the May
election in New York. Both parties attempted to make use of it. The
Federalists proclaimed that the blood of Pierce was on the head of
Jefferson and his followers. These retorted, that the English pirates
were the friends and comrades of the Federalists. Cheetham had seen the
first lieutenant of the Leander, disguised, in company with eight or
ten of them, some days after the murder!!! And the Democratic
Republicans, as was and is still usual, had a majority at the polls.
From time to time short paragraphs appeared in the papers, advertising
Miranda's success. "His flag was flying on every fort from Cumana to
Laguayra." "The whole of this fine country may be considered as lost to
Spain." Then came tidings of sadder complexion. He had been beaten off
with the loss of forty men, taken prisoners. The Spaniards had
threatened to hang them as pirates, but they would not dare to do it.
The British had furnished Miranda with forty Spanish prisoners, as
hostages, "to avenge the threatened insult to the feelings of every
friend to the rights of self-government in every part of the world." At
last, news arrived from the Gulf which left Miranda's failure in his
first attempt to land no longer doubtful. This, of course, made the
position of Ogden and Smith more dangerous, and their case more difficult
to manage.
When the trial of Colonel Smith came on, public interest revived, and
became stronger than before. The court-room was crowded by intelligent
spectators during the whole course of the proceedings, The case was
peculiar, and had almost a dramatic interest. Here was a Government
prosecution against a man well known in the community, for an offence
new to our courts; and the heads of that Government, Jefferson and
Madison, were indirectly on trial at the same time:--"For, if Smith and
Ogden are acquitted," said the Federal papers, "then must the whole
guilt rest on the Administration." Apart from the political interest of
the trial, the eminence of the counsel employed would have commanded an
audience anywhere. Never, since New York has had courts of justice,
have so many distinguished lawyers adorned and dignified her bar as in
the first twenty years of this century. In this case, nearly all of the
leaders were retained: Nathan Sandford, District Attorney, and
Pierrepoint Edwards, for the prosecution; for the defence, Cadwallader
Colden, Josiah Ogden Hoffman, Thomas Addis Emmet, Richard Harrison, and
Washington Morton.[*]
[Footnote *: Judge Patterson, of the United States Court, occupied the
bench with Judge Tallmadge, until ill-health obliged him to withdraw.
He died soon after.]
Mr. Colden handed the Clerk a list of his witnesses, and requested him
to call their names. Among them were those of Madison, Dearborn,
Gallatin, Granger, and Robert Smith, all members of the Government. He
then read the affidavit of service of subpoenas upon them on the 25th
of May, and, inasmuch as these gentlemen had not obeyed the subpoena,
and as Colonel Smith could not safely proceed to trial without their
testimony, he moved that an attachment issue against them.
The District Attorney opposed the motion, on the ground that the
testimony of these witnesses could not possibly be of any use to the
defendant. None of them were present in New York when the Leander was
fitted out. And even if it could be shown by these witnesses that the
Administration had approved of this illegal expedition, it would not
help the defendant. This is a country governed by laws, and not by
arbitrary edicts. If Colonel Smith had violated these laws, he had
rendered himself liable to punishment. He could not escape by making
the President a _particeps criminis_. An amusing letter was read from
Madison, Dearborn, and Smith, which stated, "that the President, taking
into view the state of our public affairs, has specially signified to
us that our official duties cannot consistently therewith be at this
juncture dispensed with." They suggested that a commission should issue
for the purpose of taking their respective testimonies.
Colden insisted that this was an attempt of the Executive to interfere
with the Judiciary, which ought not to be tolerated. Counsel in
criminal cases had always the right to stand face to face with
witnesses. It was outrageous that the President should first approve of
the conduct of Colonel Smith, then order a prosecution against him and
forbid his witnesses to attend the trial.
The Court refused to grant an attachment. And later in the trial, when
the defence offered Rufus King to prove the President's knowledge and
approbation of the enterprise, the Court decided against the admission
of the evidence.
The history of the expedition in New York, as shown by the testimony,
was briefly this:--Colonel Smith introduced Miranda to Ogden; and Ogden
agreed to furnish his armed ship Leander, and to load her with the
necessary provisions, stores, arms, and ammunition. He estimated his
expenditure at seventy thousand dollars. Miranda had brought with him
from London a bill of exchange on New York for eight hundred pounds,
which had been paid, and had drawn bills on England and on Trinidad for
seven thousand pounds, which had not been paid. This was all that Ogden
had received. But if the enterprise were successful, he was to be paid
two hundred per cent, advance on the ship and cargo. Smith had engaged
fifteen or twenty officers, without informing them of the object of the
expedition, but expressly stipulating in writing that they would not be
employed against England or France, and giving them a general verbal
assurance that they would speedily make their fortunes. In this he was
sincere, for he took his son from college and sent him with Miranda.
Smith had employed John Fink, a Bowery butcher, to engage men who could
serve on horseback. Fink enlisted twenty-three at fifteen dollars a
month, and fifteen more as a bounty. They were not to be taken out of
the territory of the United States. Some of them were told that the
President was raising a mounted guard; others, that they were to guard
the mail from Washington to New Orleans. One of Fink's papers was shown
on the trial, indorsed, "Muster-Roll for the President's Guard." Smith
had furnished the bounty-money, but it did not appear that he had
authorized these misrepresentations of Fink, who developed a talent in
this business which forty years later would have made his fortune as an
emigrant-runner. Abundant proofs of the purchase of military clothing,
arms, powder, shot, and cannon were produced.
The Counsel for Colonel Smith, unable to get the connivance of the
Administration before the Jury in the shape of evidence, coolly assumed
it as established, and urged it in defence of their client. They used
his memorial to Congress as their brief, enlarged upon the arbitrary
conduct of the Judge in the examinations and upon the tyrannical
interference of the President with their witnesses. As Mr. Emmet
cleverly and classically remarked, quoting from Tacitus's description
of the funeral of Junia, "Perhaps their very absence rendered them more
decided witnesses in our favor." They also maintained that the Act of
1794, under which the prisoner was indicted, did not prohibit an
enterprise of this character. Even if it did, no proof existed that
this expedition was organized in New York. On the contrary, it was
known that Miranda had gone hence to Jacquemel, and had made his
preparations there, in a port out of our jurisdiction.
This point made, they boldly went a step farther, and declared that the
United States were actually at war with Spain. The affair of the
Kempers, and of Flanagan in Louisiana, the obstruction of the Mobile
Kiver, the depredations upon our commerce by Spanish privateers, were
sufficient proof of a state of war. We had a right to meet force by
force. The President must have been of this opinion, else he could not
have violated his trust by authorizing this expedition.
The case for the defence, considered in a logical point of view, was
desperate; but no case is desperate before a Jury; and when Mr. Colden,
Mr. Hoffman, and Mr. Emmet had each in his own peculiar mode of
eloquence appealed to the Jury to protect their client, already
punished by removal from his place, without a trial or even a hearing,
for an offence committed with, the sanction of his superior
officers,--when they compared this State prosecution to the attempts
made by despotic European governments to crush innocent men by the
machinery of law, and asserted that it was instituted solely to gratify
the malice of the King of Spain, a bitter enemy to the United
States,--and when they enlarged upon the grandeur of an undertaking to
give liberty to the down-trodden victims of Colonial tyranny, comparing
Miranda and his friends to our own Revolutionary heroes, there could be
but little doubt of the verdict. But there was an uneasy feeling after
the District Attorney had closed. He demolished with ease the arguments
of the other side, for not one of them had sufficient strength to stand
alone. Smith's perpetual excuse, that he had been led astray by the
belief of connivance in Washington, was preposterous. If he had been
anxious to know the sentiments of Government on the subject, he might
at any time within six days have ascertained whether Miranda told him
truth or not. He spoke of the cruelty and reckless folly of all such
attempts upon a neighboring people; asked the Jury how they would like
to see an armed force landed upon our shores to take part with one or
the other of the great political parties; and closed with a few strong
words, as true at this day as then:--"If you acquit the defendant, you
say to the world that the United States have renounced the law of
nations,--that they permit their citizens not only to violate their own
laws with impunity, but to invade the people of other countries with
hostile force in a time of peace, as avarice, ambition, or the thought
of plunder may dictate. Such a decision would justify the acts of the
pirate on the ocean, and would sink our national character to the
barbarism of savage tribes."
The Jury were out two hours, and brought in a verdict of not guilty,
which gave great satisfaction to Federal editors. A few days afterward,
Mr. Ogden was acquitted.[1]
[Footnote 1: Mr. Jefferson, after the expiration of his second term,
wrote to Don Valentino de Fornonda as follows:--
"Your predecessor [Yrujo] wished it to be believed that we were in
unjustifiable cooeperation in Miranda's expedition.
"I solemnly and on my personal truth and honor declare to you that this
was entirely without foundation, and that there was neither cooeperation
nor connivance on our part. He informed us he was about to attempt the
liberation of his native country from bondage, and intimated a hope of
our aid, or connivance at least. He was at once informed, that, though
we had great cause of complaint against Spain, and even of war, yet,
whenever we should think proper to act as her enemy, it should be
openly and aboveboard, and that our hostility should never be exercised
by such petty means. We had no suspicion that he expected to engage men
here, but merely to purchase military stores. Against this there was no
law, nor, consequently, any authority for us to interpose. On the other
hand, we deemed it improper to betray his voluntary communication to
the agents of Spain. Although his measures were many days in
preparation at New York, we never had the least intimation or suspicion
of his engaging men in his enterprise until he was gone; and I presume
that the secrecy of his proceedings kept them equally unknown to the
Marquis Yrujo and to the Spanish Consul at New York, since neither of
them gave us any information of the enlistment of men until it was too
late for any measures taken at Washington to prevent their departure."]
This is a brief account of the first filibuster-trial in the United
States. Other heroes of this profession, compared with whom Smith and
Ogden were spotless, have since come before our courts only to be
turned loose upon the world again. No other result is to be
anticipated. It is an established principle with our fellow-citizens,
that no man is happy, or ought to be, who lives under any other system
of government than our own. Let a lawyer pronounce the magic formula,
"Liberty to the oppressed," or "Free institutions to the victims of
despotism," and, _presto!_--rascality is metamorphosed into merit.
After all, it makes such a difference, when it is only our neighbor's
ox that is gored!
Here closed the first act of the expedition. Colonel Smith lost his
office, and Mr. Ogden stopped payment. The passengers by the Leander
fared worse. There were two hundred men on board: one hundred and
twenty belonged to the ship; the others had been engaged by Smith and
his agent Fink as officers, dragoons, printers, and armorers. With the
exception of two or three, none of them had seen their commander or
knew their destination. The officers, all gentlemen "of crooked
fortunes," supposed that they were sailing to enlarge the area of
freedom somewhere in America; but what particular region of the Spanish
dominions was to be subjected to this wholesome treatment they neither
knew nor cared, provided they could improve their own financial
condition. Both officers and privates were for the most part
serviceable, steady men, worthy of a more efficient leader.
On the 12th of February, they were overhauled and searched by H.B.M.
ship Cleopatra. Nineteen men with American protections were carried off
in the frigate's boat, and twelve native Americans taken out of prizes
sent back to replace them. The Leander's papers were examined and
pronounced unsatisfactory. Miranda was obliged to go on board the
Cleopatra, where he had a long private conversation with the captain.
He returned with full liberty to proceed, and with a written pass to
prevent detention or search by British cruisers. This adventure was
made to give an air of respectability to the enterprise; and Miranda
hinted to his suite that the English captain had promised to join him
with his frigate. A day or two later, the Leander took other airs upon
herself. Meeting a small Spanish schooner, laden with logwood, off the
Haytian coast, Lewis fired into her, and ordered the captain on board
with his papers, for the mere pleasure of exercising power. The
Spaniard, as soon as he got back to his own craft, made the best of his
way home and gave the first alarm.
On the 18th of February, they cast anchor at Jacquemel. Lewis went
immediately to Port au-Prince, to engage the Emperor, a ship commanded
by his brother, to join the expedition. Miranda remained behind to
organize his followers. He at last announced to them that he intended
to land near Caracas; the whole country would rise at his name; his
brave Americans would form the nucleus and the heart of a great army;
there was no Spanish force in the province to resist him. In a general
order, "Parole, America; Countersign, Liberty," he assigned to his
officers their rank in the Columbian army, distributing them into the
Engineers, Artillery, Dragoons, Riflemen, and Foot. Another general
order, "Parole, Warren; Countersign, Bunker's Hill," fixed the uniforms
of the different corps,--to be distinguished by blue, yellow, or green
facings. All hands were set to work upon the crowded deck. Printers
struck off proclamations and blank commissions in the name of "Don
Francisco de Miranda, Commander-in-Chief of the Columbian Army";
carpenters made pike-handles; armorers repaired the arms bought in New
York; (they had cost little, and were worth less;) the regimental
tailor and his disciples stitched the gay facings upon the new
uniforms; files of awkward fellows were put through the manual exercise
by an old drill-sergeant; and the young gentlemen officers read
diligently in treatises on war, or listened to the discourses of their
general upon the noble art. In the midst of this stir of preparation,
Lewis returned unsuccessful, without the ship Emperor; but Miranda
seemed in no hurry to depart. He continued his lectures and his
drilling until the 28th of March. At last he hoisted the new Columbian
flag,--a tricolor, blue, yellow, and red,--fired a grand salute, and
stood gallantly out of the harbor, where he had wasted six precious
weeks.
Captain Lewis had chartered at Port-au-Prince the Bee, a small, unarmed
schooner, and had bought the Bacchus, a vessel of the same class, last
from Laguayra, whose captain and men disappeared mysteriously after
their arrival at Jacquemel. Some of the Leander's hands volunteered for
the schooners, to get out of the crowded ship; others were forced on
board, to make up a crew. The little fleet steered for Bonair, but,
through the ignorance of their pilot, or of their captain, found
themselves, after a ten-days' cruise, seventy miles to leeward, off the
Gulf of Venezuela. The Leander was a dull sailer; and, with the wind
and current against her, it took them four days to beat up to the
Island of Aruba, and seven more to reach Bonair. On the evening of the
27th of April, they were lying to off Puerto Cabello, preparing to
land, and sure of success, when they made out two Spanish
_guardacostas_ close in shore, beating up to windward. Miranda thought
them unworthy of attention, and gave the order to stand in. But the
pilot mistook the landmarks, owing to the darkness, and missed the
point agreed upon for landing. The Bacchus was sent in to reconnoitre
and did not return, although signals of recall were repeated throughout
the night. About midnight signals were noticed passing between the fort
at Puerto Cabello and the _guardacostas_; Captain Lewis beat to
quarters, and kept his men at their guns until morning. At daybreak the
Bacchus was seen close in shore, carrying a press of sail and closely
pursued by the Spanish vessels. The Leander bore down with a flowing
sheet upon the enemy, fired a few ineffective shot, and then, for some
reason best known to her captain, or to Miranda, hauled on to the wind,
and sailed away, leaving the schooners to take care of themselves. The
_guardacostas_ soon took possession of both, and carried their prizes,
with sixty prisoners, into Puerto Cabello,[1] before the eyes of their
astonished and indignant comrades, who could not understand such a want
of courage or conduct on the part of their chief.
[Footnote 1: The unfortunate men taken in the schooners were tried at
Puerto Cabello for piracy. Ten officers were hanged, their heads cut
off and stuck upon poles, and six of them sent to Caracas, two to
Laguayra, and two set up at Puerto Cabello. The other prisoners were
sentenced to the chain-gang. The execution took place on the 21st of
July, the day before Smith was acquitted in New York.]
After this disaster, the Leander sailed for Bonair for water. Miranda
still assumed a confident tone, and called a council of war to
deliberate whether they should attempt a landing at Coro. The council
decided, that, in view of the loss they had sustained, it would be
advisable to make for Trinidad in search of reinforcements. With wind
and tide against them, and a slow ship, the voyage was long. They were
reduced to their last barrel of bread, when they fell in with the
English sloop-of-war Lily, Captain Campbell, who was looking for
Miranda, and who sent supplies of all kinds on board. On the 6th of
June, they ran into Bridgetown, Barbadoes. Admiral Cochrane, who
commanded on that station, gave Miranda every assistance in his power,
and offered to put some of his smaller vessels under his orders, upon
condition that all goods imported into the new state of Columbia in
British bottoms should be assessed ten per cent, lower than the
products of any other nation, except the United States. Miranda signed
a formal agreement to this effect, and sailed for Trinidad, accompanied
by H.B.M. ships Lily and Express, and the Trimmer, a transport
schooner. Captain Lewis, whose repeated quarrels with Miranda had
affected the discipline of the force, resigned at Barbadoes. He was
succeeded by Captain Johnson, a daring fellow, who risked and lost life
and property in this expedition.
The Governor of Trinidad, like all the English of the Gulf, was well
disposed to aid in an attack on the Spanish Provinces. Eighty
volunteers of all nations, most of them worthless fellows and
candidates for a commission, joined the fleet at this place. Miranda
was once more in high spirits. His army amounted to four hundred men,
and he had secured the cooperation of the English. Success seemed
certain. He issued a new proclamation to his followers, headed "To
Victory and Wealth," and set sail, accompanied by seven small British
war-vessels and three transports.
On the 2d of August, the fleet anchored within nine miles of La Vela de
Coro. The next day two hundred and ninety men were landed in the boats
of the squadron. They were all "Mirandanians," the English furnishing
only the means of transportation and the necessary supplies. As the
boats approached the shore, they were fired upon from the bushes which
lined the beach. The Columbians jumped into the water and charged; the
Spaniards retreated to a fort near the shore. This was carried, sword
in hand,--the Spaniards leaping from the walls and flying in all
directions. Miranda then formed his party, and marched to the town, a
quarter of a mile distant, which was evacuated by the Spaniards with
such precipitation that they left their cannon loaded. The inhabitants
had fled, as well as the military, carrying off all their movable
property. The Columbian colors were hoisted, flags of truce sent in all
directions, the printed proclamations distributed about the neighboring
country; but in vain; nobody appeared.
The same evening the Liberators marched twelve miles in a northwesterly
direction to Coro. They arrived an hour before dawn, and found the town
silent and deserted. Dividing themselves into two parties, they entered
cautiously on opposite sides, for fear of an ambuscade,--but,
unfortunately, when the detachments met in the Grand Plaza, they
mistook each other, in the dusk of the morning, for the enemy, and
fired. Miranda's most efficient officer fell, shot through both thighs.
One man was killed, and seven others badly wounded. Not a soul was
found in the place, except those who were too old or too ill to move,
and the occupants of the prison. The jailer presented himself,
surrendered his keys, and informed the General that the Governor had
forced the citizens to leave their homes. Miranda remained in the
deserted town for five days, endeavoring, by the most alluring
proclamations, to bring the inhabitants back. But it was useless. Not a
man presented himself. He then lost heart, and, instead of advancing
into the country, ordered a retreat to La Vela, and reembarked on the
19th.
Those he left behind in the Leander had been still more unfortunate.
Captain Johnson had gone in the boats to a river three or four miles to
the eastward, for water, and, while filling his casks, was set upon by
a party of Spanish soldiers. He was killed, fighting bravely, with
fifteen of his men. The remainder escaped with difficulty.
The discomfited invaders sailed for the Island of Aruba, where their
English allies, pretty well satisfied that nothing could be done with
this expedition, left them. Miranda landed his men and took formal
possession of the island. He sent an ambassador to the Governor of the
neighboring island of Curacoa, requesting him to surrender. This
request was declined. He was equally unsuccessful in a mission to
Jamaica, begging for assistance from Admiral Dacres. Dacres refused, on
the ground that he had no orders from his Government.
Miranda remained at Aruba, drilling, issuing proclamations, and holding
courts martial, until the want of provisions brought the enterprise to
an end. An English ship-of-war, which touched at the island, offered
him a safe means of escape. On the 29th of October, after a passage of
twenty-five days, the Liberators arrived at Trinidad, and disbanded in
disgrace. The blue and yellow uniforms they had worn with pride, as
"Columbians," on their last visit, were hastily laid aside to escape
the scoff of the rabble, who jeered them as adventurers and
merry-andrews. Miranda kept out of sight until he could get the
opportunity of a passage to England. All his followers who could find
means to quit the island made their way home as best they could. To
conclude the business, the Leander was sold by order of the courts, and
the few poor fellows who had remained by her received a small share of
the proceeds. Nobody else was paid the smallest fraction of the sums
the General had so liberally promised.
That a commander, safely landed with three hundred fighting men, in
possession of Coro, whose peninsular situation might have afforded him
an inexpugnable position, master of the sea, and backed by an English
fleet, should have retreated, without effecting anything, from a
country ripe for rebellion since the conspiracy of 1797, can be
explained only in one way: he must have been ignorant of the real
feelings of the people, and totally unfit to lead such an expedition.
Miranda had what we may call a pretty talent for war. He had studied
the principles of the art, and had seen some service. Excited by the
splendid career of Washington, he, like a certain distinguished
Frenchman, determined to imitate him and become the liberator of his
country. When the Giant at a show bends the iron bar, it seems so easy
that every strong man in the crowd thinks he can do as much, until he
tries. It needs a Giant of the first class to handle a people in
revolution. Miranda was not made of that kind of stuff. He was weak and
inefficient, fond of mystery and pomp, easily affected by flattery,
loving dearly to hear himself talk, and unable to control his temper.
His incessant quarrels with Captain Lewis were one cause of the loss of
the schooners off Puerto Cabello. A want of quickness and energy was
felt in all his operations. Delays are proverbially dangerous, but in a
_coup de main_ fatal. The time wasted by him at Jacquemel and at Aruba
was employed by the Spaniards in making preparations for defence. They
had few troops, and did not dare to trust the natives with arms, but
they succeeded in persuading them that Miranda and his men were pagans
and pirates, whose triumph would be ten times more insufferable than
the rule of the mother country.
If Miranda was incompetent to carry out a liberating expedition, he had
wonderful success in talking it up. For twenty years he had carried
this project about with him in America and in Europe. It was elaborated
to perfection in every part, and there were answers prepared to every
objection. The new government was to be modelled upon the English
Constitution,--an hereditary chief, to be called Inca,--a senate,
nominated by the chief, composed of nobles, but not hereditary,--and a
chamber elected by suffrage, limited by a property qualification. He
had collected all the statistics of population and of trade, to show
what commercial advantages the world might expect from a free South
American government. And, "rising upon a wind of prophecy," he already
saw in the future a ship-canal across the Isthmus of Panama, and the
Nicaragua route opened. He had laid these plans before Catharine of
Russia, who gave him money to help them on. Mr. Pitt listened, promised
him assistance in return for commercial privileges, and kept him in pay
for years. The French Revolutionists were eager to furnish him with an
army and a fleet. Rufus King, American Ambassador at London, sent word
of the scheme to Hamilton and Knox, who both approved of it. Miranda
seems to have made the same impression upon everybody. His extensive
travels and acquaintance with distinguished men, his knowledge of
facts, dates, and figures, his retentive and ready memory, his
wonderful cleverness in persuading his hearers, are spoken of in the
same terms by all. Dr. Rush wrote to a friend, that Miranda had dined
with him, and had talked about European politics as if he had been "in
the inside of all the kings and princes." He might have been a second
Count de St. Germain, if he had lived in the reign of Louis XIV.,
instead of in an era when men had abandoned the philosopher's stone,
and were seeking in politics for a new _magnum opus_, Constitutions, as
the certain means of perfecting the human species.
Everybody was mistaken in him. Although he talked "like an angel," in
action he was worthless. If he had never undertaken to carry out his
plans, he might have left an excellent reputation, and have remained in
South American memory as the possible Father of his Country: _Capax
imperii, nisi imperasset_. A short sketch of his career may be
interesting, before we dismiss him again to the oblivion from which we
have evoked him for this month.
Miranda entered the Spanish army in America at the age of seventeen,
and was advanced to be Colonel, a grade seldom or never before reached
by a Creole. He left the service before the close of the Revolutionary
War, travelled in the United States, and was admitted to the society of
Washington and of the leading men of the day. Here, his attainments,
quickness, and insatiable curiosity attracted attention. He knew the
topography and strategy of every battle fought during the war better
than our officers who had been on the field, and soon made himself
familiar with parties, and even with family connections in this
country. His constant topic was the independence of South America.
After the peace of 1783, Miranda went to England: Colonel Smith was
then Secretary of John Adams, the American Minister, and the
acquaintance between them began in London, which ended so disastrously
twenty years later in New York. Leaving England, he travelled over
Europe. At Cherson, he attracted the notice of Prince Potemkin, who
presented him to the Empress at Kiew. In 1790, when the dispute about
Nootka Sound[*] threatened to produce a war between Great Britain and
Spain, he reappeared in London, and proposed to Mr. Pitt his scheme for
revolutionizing the American Colonies. Pitt at once engaged his
services, but Spain yielded, and the project could not be carried out.
Miranda crossed to France, accepted a command in the Republican army,
and served, with credit, in the Netherlands, under Dumouriez, until the
Battle of Neerwinden. In November, 1792, the French rulers conceived
the idea of revolutionizing Spain, both in Europe and in America.
Brissot suggested Miranda as the fittest person for this purpose. He
was to take twelve thousand troops of the line from St. Domingo,
enlist, in addition, ten or fifteen thousand "_braves mulatres_," and
make a descent, with this force, upon the Main. "_Le nom de Miranda_,"
wrote Brissot to Dumouriez, "_lui vaudra une armee; et ses talens, son
courage, son genie, tout nous repond du succes_." Monge, Gensonne,
Claviere, Petion, were pleased with the plan, but Miranda started
difficulties. The French system was too democratic for his taste, and
the pressure of affairs in Europe soon turned the attention of Brissot
and his friends in another direction.
[Footnote *: In May, 1789, the Spanish sloop-of-war Princesa seized
four English vessels engaged in a trade with the natives of Vancouver's
Island, and took them into a Mexican port as prizes, on the ground that
they had violated the Spanish Colonial laws. The English government
denied the claim of Spain to those distant regions, and insisted upon
ample satisfaction. The King of Spain was obliged to submit to avoid
war, but the question of territory was left open.]
After the disastrous affair of Neerwinden, Miranda was accused of
misconduct, arrested, and sent to Paris for trial, but was acquitted by
the _Tribunal Revolutionnaire_, and conducted home in triumph. He was
again imprisoned for _incivisme_, during the Reign of Terror, and did
not recover his liberty until the general jail-delivery which followed
the death of Robespierre. He was seized for the third time in 1797, by
the Directory, as an adherent of the Pichegru faction, and banished
from France.
In January, 1798, Mr. Pitt again sent for Miranda, and a new plan was
arranged for the emancipation of South America. On this occasion, the
cooeperation of the United States was confidently relied upon. Both Pitt
and our own rulers foresaw that Spain must inevitably fall a prey to
France, and that the whole of her American possessions would probably
share her fate. Our relations with France were in so critical a
condition, that we were making preparations for defence; and it was, of
course, of the highest importance to our safety, that the Floridas and
Louisiana should not fall into the hands of a powerful enemy. It was
proposed, consequently, to form a commercial and defensive alliance
between England, the United States, and South America. We were to get
the Floridas and Louisiana to the Mississippi, and in return to furnish
a land-force of ten thousand men. Great Britain would provide the
fleet, in consideration of certain important advantages in trade.
Miranda kept his friends in the United States fully advised of the
progress of affairs. Hamilton and Knox were in favor of the project,
provided war were declared. Our provisional army might then have played
a brilliant part. But there was no war. President Adams refused to
listen to Miranda's communications, and patched up our difficulties
with France. Nothing was done by the English.
In 1801 Lord Sidmouth revived Miranda's hopes, but the Peace of Amiens
put a stop to the preparations. In 1804 Mr. Pitt was again at the head
of affairs, and renewed his intercourse with Miranda. Orders were given
to prepare ships and to enrol men, when the hopes of the third
coalition again suspended the execution of the project.
It was after this last blow from Fortune that Miranda came to New York
and fitted out the expedition we have undertaken to describe. His
disastrous failure seemed neither to destroy his hopes, nor to shake
the confidence of his English friends in his pretensions. When he
returned to England from Trinidad, he found ministers prepared to
embark with energy in the South American scheme. This time a fleet and
an army were really assembled at Cork, and Sir Arthur Wellesley was to
command them,--when the Spanish Revolution broke out, altered at once
the face of affairs in Europe, and turned Sir Arthur and his army
toward Portugal, to begin that brilliant series of campaigns which
drove the French out of the Peninsula.
Few men fix their minds pertinaciously upon an object, and adhere to
the pursuit through life, without at least a partial attainment of it.
Miranda, the victim of so many bitter disappointments, at last found
himself for a few months in the position he had so often dreamed of.
When the news of the fall of Seville, and of the dispersion of the
Junta who governed in the name of Ferdinand VII., reached South
America, open rebellion broke out at Caracas. King Joseph Bonaparte had
sent over a proclamation, imploring his trusty and well-beloved South
Americans to come to his paternal arms,--or, if they would not do that,
at least to set up a government for themselves, and not take part with
Ferdinand and England. His emissaries were hunted down and hanged,
wherever caught. Revolutionary Juntas were established all over the
country. On the 19th of April, 1810, the American Confederation of
Venezuela, in Congress assembled, undertook to rule in the name of
Ferdinand VII., but in reality as an independent government. Miranda
was called to the command of the native army. On the 5th of July, 1811,
the Congress published their Declaration of Independence, and a
Constitution, both of them remarkable state-papers. In point of
liberality of sentiment and elegance of style they will bear comparison
with our own celebrated documents of '76 and '87. Indeed, in all these
Spanish political plays, the plot has been good, the text admirable,
but the actors so poor as to spoil the piece. So it fell out in
Venezuela. At first the Patriots were successful; Miranda defeated the
Royalists and took Valencia. The principal towns fell into the hands of
the insurgents. Then, came the terrible earthquake of 1812, which not
only shattered the resources of the Patriots, but was skilfully used by
the Church as a proof that Providence had taken sides against the
rebels. Monteverde, the Spanish general, recaptured Valencia. Congress
placed the dictatorship with unlimited power in Miranda's hands, but he
was not the man for desperate situations. On the 6th of July, the
Royalists took Puerto Cabello; Caracas fell on the 28th; and Miranda,
betrayed by his own party into the hands of the Spaniards, was sent a
prisoner to Cadiz in October. Simon Bolivar and others, men of
different mettle, regained all that had been lost, and cut loose the
Colonies from Spain. From California to Cape Horn the inestimable
system of self-government was established. According to the theory, the
South Americans should have been prosperous and happy; but,
unfortunately, the result has been murder, robbery, and general ruin.
The burden of taking care of one's self, which the North American had
the strength to bear, has crushed the poor half-caste Spaniard. There
are persons who assert that a political regimen which agrees so well
with us must therefore be good for all others. It may be instructive to
such believers in system to compare Humboldt's narrative of the
cultivation shown by the great Colonial Universities of Mexico, Quito,
and Lima, of the pleasing Creole society that entertained him, and the
peaceful quiet and security he noticed throughout country, with the
relations of modern travellers or newspaper-correspondents who visit
those semi-barbarous regions.
Don Francisco de Miranda did not live to hear of the freedom of his
"Columbia." Before the close of the year 1812 he died in prison, at
Cadiz. Thus perished the most gentlemanlike of filibusters, since the
days when Jason sailed in the Argo to extend the blessing of Greek
institutions over Colchis and to appropriate the Golden Fleece.