Long form birth certificate for Obama does not exist:

[Woodsman]

Former Hawaii elections clerk Tim Adams has now signed an affidavit swearing he was told by his supervisors in Hawaii that no long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate existed for Barack Obama Jr. in Hawaii and that neither Queens Medical Center nor Kapi’olani Medical Center in Honolulu had any record of Obama having been born in their medical facilities.

(For more "birther" stuff, see link)

http://www.wnd.com/2011/01/254401/


All hail the African born Muslim "change" salesman.

[ktrout]

Distraction. Funny how I've heard of Republicans rueing that some of their favorite people weren't eligible for the presidency (Schwarzenegger) and that maybe the Constitution should be changed.

[seektravelinfo]

good lord not this again. The right wing introductions of the constant non-sequitors (white house blow jobs, pretend WMD's, birth certificates) has made a fool of this country.

[roach coach]

[Kurt]

My long form Birth certificate does not exist either. Well, one does and it is in a cigar box inside of an old milk crate in my closet.

Luckily both parents were born here in the USA and luckily I am white and luckily I never imposed myself on some poor electorate or else dickheads would be all over the fact I possess the only crinkled original of my birth certificate and I would never let anyone handle it either.

Obama is crap in so many other ways, I cannot see why even his critics bother with this one.

[Jefe]

All this time, operating as a member of American society while harboring deeply ingrained muslimoid tendencies and probably doing all kinds of evil stuff.

AND HIDING the birth certificate in a cigar box....fiendishly clever...

Actually, he is a BFC Moderator...

[Woodsman]

Actually, he is a BFC Moderator...

Shhhh....nobody is supposed to know.

[Kurt]

All this time, operating as a member of American society while harboring deeply ingrained muslimoid tendencies and probably doing all kinds of evil stuff.

AND HIDING the birth certificate in a cigar box....fiendishly clever...

Actually, he is a BFC Moderator...

I only hide it because it mentions my vestigial tail.

and that my birth name was Vladimir Stalin Mohamed Death To America Lowenstein.

[Glassgost]

Perhaps I'm wrong, I really have no idea one way or another, but don't they, like, do background checks on presidents? You can't get a job as a cable guy if you're not a citizen or legally eligible to work in the US. I just always assumed they did, which is why I never really cared about this whole thing. Well, I never cared about this whole thing just because it is one of the vast galaxy of things I don't give a damn about.

[Ultra Swain]

The sheer manpower it takes to maintain everyone of Woodsy's conspiracies requires everyone else besides him working around the clock (while not telling him). I have the Chemtrails and flouridated water transportation committee not too mention I have to feed the area 51 aliens 3 times a week. Kurt, the brains of the outfit, is pretty swamped on the vaccines and human cookbook projects. The Illuminati promised us some interns the summer but I haven't heard anything about that in months. We had to hire a temp kill Breitbart, but he OD'd on coke before we could, but we still had to pay the guy.

I hope you appreciate all the hard work EVERYONE else is doing bro. ;)

[Jefe]

Vladimir Stalin Mohamed Death To America Lowenstein.

OK, I see why you go by Kurt now.

[flipflop]

I thought it was Rabbi Moshe Sharon Golan Mossadi Yitshak Don't Mess With The Zohan Goldstein III

Cheers

[Woodsman]

The sheer manpower it takes to maintain everyone of Woodsy's conspiracies requires everyone else besides him working around the clock (while not telling him). I have the Chemtrails and flouridated water transportation committee not too mention I have to feed the area 51 aliens 3 times a week. Kurt, the brains of the outfit, is pretty swamped on the vaccines and human cookbook projects. The Illuminati promised us some interns the summer but I haven't heard anything about that in months. We had to hire a temp kill Breitbart, but he OD'd on coke before we could, but we still had to pay the guy.

I hope you appreciate all the hard work EVERYONE else is doing bro. ;)

[RYP]

My conspiracy theory is that Obama is really all black and is named Jim Kelly. He changed his name to "Osama Bin Kickin Yo Ass" but failed to rise above B level box office fame. He then decided to run for president.

[friendlyskies]

Wait - I thought the defining topic of the 2012 election was whether or not women who used birth control were sluts. But now we're also going to include Obama's birth certificate in the national debate?

You realize that you're asking USAmericans to do the equivalent of walking and chewing gum at the same time. Which, while perhaps necessary in some contexts, may distract us from solving the one problem that faces the nation today, and which will decide our future as an empire, military power, and bastion of freedom and democracy on the world stage: Gay marriage.

Don't fuck it up, woodsman.